Shane Victorino Not Playing in Game Today for What is Deemed a Reason

UPDATE:  It seems that Shane’s childlike temper tantrum over hitting seventh got him kicked out of the lineup.  Which makes you wonder what happened to those guys in the locker room who didn’t have egos and just wanted to win together, as a team.  That happened, right?  Or did I just watch Remember the Titans while cough medicining myself to sleep again.

Panicking after reading our latest allegations here on TBOH, the Phillies front office scratched Shave Victorino from the lineup today just before game time.  Having been exposed for the first time, their encrypted actions were becoming public knowledge, and now it was time to cover their tracks.

Was Scott Proefrock frantically shredding documents and burning files in his office while Ruben Amaro called every two minutes, screaming for an update?  We can certainly assume that that happened.  We can assume anything we want.

How many prospects do we get for a sly Hawaiian grin? And don't say zero. Howard Smith-US PRESSWIRE

The “Win a Party with 20 Friends and [a Phillies Player!]” debacle was merely the first thread.  Today, upon Victorino’s scratching, our wild allegations were abruptly, and for the first time ever I think, satisfied.

Only Shane wasn’t traded.  It was just a sequence of actions that made it seem imminent that he was going to be traded.  Which I’m still going to count as a point for us, because honestly, we’re so far behind it’s not going to make a difference.

So, naturally, if Shane was a late scratch, and he’s not being sealed inside a crate with all of his stuff, then he’s hurt.

“Victorino had not been traded. He also is not injured.”

–Todd Zolecki, earlier

What’s especially notable is that Zolecki’s solemn, four word sentences were the conclusion of a brief update, meaning that other than these two things, we don’t really know what’s going on.  Which isn’t really any different than usual.  It’s just that this ignorance feels so much smarter.  Yeah.

But Jason Pridie* took his place and he’s 2-for-2 so far with all of the RBI so let’s just see how this plays out.

Jason Pridie is some outfielder from the minors who got in trouble for testing positive for PEDs that he learned to use while playing for the Mets.

Topics: Shane Victorino

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  • Jack Meoff

    Victorina is an a$$hole. It’s time to kick this turd out of Philadelphia for good!