Ruben Amaro Disgusted by How Easily You Buy into Cole Hamels Internet Rumors

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We all got pretty upset yesterday when it was revealed that Ruben was calling teams, seeing if they’d love to have Cole Hamels in their rotation for a steep price.  It hurts, to find something like that out.  That we’re really at this point; checking to see what our homegrown super-talent can fetch from the nearest pawn shop.

But what Ruben said yesterday is that he was just calling teams, seeing if they’d love to have Cole Hamels in their rotation for a steep price, and when they’d say “Yes!” he’d say “Of course you do!” and hang up and laugh and laugh and laaaauuuughhhhhh.

That’s all.

First off, that Ruben decided to address anything is somewhat remarkable.  We’re used to having our thoughts, losing sleep, and being greeted by radio silence.  I guess we eat in there too somewhere.  Oh, also–raging alcoholism.

Point is, Ruben has proven he can do just fine without our input.  He can do even better without his own output.  What this means is that his relationship with us is not only nonexistent; he doesn’t even acknowledge that there is a blank space where something could exist.

And yet, here he is, offering more than the bland, ambiguous statements churned out by the even-keeled smarm factory inside of his brain.  He’s being reassuring, to the point that he apparently asked reporters to call him.  

"“These aren’t things we discuss or talk about in front of other people, but our goals are always the same. Our goal is to try to continue to contend this year, to try to win the National League East. If we can’t do that, we want to be a playoff club.”“Our other goal, frankly, is to keep Hamels in our uniform, short term and long term.”–Ruben Amaro"

That’s good.  The last think we need is Cole running around naked somewhere.

Whether I only skimmed the quotation or not, it seems like Ruben is trying to do the right thing here.  The question is, when will he start doing the thing that is the right thing?  He seems to want to do it.  It would certainly make everybody feel good.  

Could he just be spinning the story, in order to keep ticket sales alive?  Yes.  That is what is happening.  That’s what it’s all been about, from the beginning:  Tickets.  When Brett Myers chucked his glove straight into the air after game 162 in 2007, Pat Gillick turned to a young Ruben Amaro and nodded as sinisterly as all villains do.  They both knew.  A golden era of sweet, sweet money was about to flow through those gates.  My god.  They were going to be rich.

So basically, the Phillies should want to keep Cole Hamels, and if the man in charge of doing so says he will, then that is technically good news, even though it comes crammed between all of that… all of that awful stuff that has been happening lately.