Shane Victorino Inexplicably Asked to Appear on TV Show About Hawaii

According to Shane Victorino’s IMDb profile, “he is a switch hitter, and throws right-handed.”  Any producer reading that has obviously had their eyes bulge out of their head, spit coffee all over the room, and throw out every other resume they’ve received to date before demanding their assistant get him in the office for an audition.

By some huge coincidence, Shane was the baseball player that was asked to appear on an episode of Hawaii Five-0, a television program that appears on that popular CBS network we young adults and twentysomethings do so enjoy watching.

Why, I remember in the golden age of television when we’d all gather round the soundbox (that’s what we called it back then, you see) for the week’s pulse-pounding, gutwrenching 42 minutes of JAG.  I don’t recall very much about the show, but I do know that none of the characters were actually named “Jag.”  Which was disappointing enough for me to never tune in again.

Hawaii Five-0 is different, however, because it takes place in Hawaii, and has Shane Victorino on it, once.  The great news is that Shane won’t just be showing up as “Shane Victorino, athlete making a cameo as himself whose in town visiting family.”  He will be playing a character, and with it being a cop show, you have to wonder:  What sort of criminal will he be portraying?

A conniving jewel thief who wins international surf contests by day?  A flim-flamming street con with a heart of gold?  An axe murderer, hunting down a crew of sexy teens who resemble the “friends” who left him to die in that ravine after the famous Oahu Pig Roast Accident that happened 100 years ago tonight?

Whoever he plays, we can rest assured that Shane’s character will be portrayed in a flattering light that in no way dwells on his heritage.  Other than having his heritage in the name of the show.