That crazy Philadelphia Sports Writer Association got together again, reached into their Phillies hat, and pulled out the piece of paper with “Phillies on it.” Long story short, the Phillies are your PSWA Team of the Year once more. The decision corrects a fairly bizarre twist in 2010, when the Flyers received the honor, despite the Philles still being a sports team located in Philadelphia.
Many of us were forced to spend the remainder of 2010 in a state of paralysis by way of confused terror. ”Why?” we would ask every morning, staring accusingly into the mirror. ”What did I do, personally, to force the PSWA into this position?”
“Did I not cheer hard enough? Did I give my family too much attention when the Phillies were on? Should I have bought more merchandise? Shit, that was it, wasn’t it? I’ll call off work and spend all day shouting my credit card number to an increasingly concerned phone operator in the Majestic store. I’ll do it. I WILL DO THAT.”
Having convinced the PSWA they were the team of the year from 2007-2009, it only seemed appropriate for them to continue doing so. I mean, it’s not that there aren’t other teams to root for in this city. It’s just that a very small percentage of them are the Phillies. It’s not hard to figure out which one is which. How could they just make that award a part of our lives for so long, then just laugh and hand it to somebody else?
There is like a tangible thing attached to this, right. Like a trophy or a fruit basket or a cluster of balloons. I imagine.
Anyway, the point is, we can put 2010 behind us, and not just because it is now 2012. Because the one truly wrong thing that happened to us that year has been righted. We can move on with our lives, and ask ourselves more important, self-accusatory questions in the bathroom mirror each morning, like “What did I do to drive Ryan Madson away?” and “Good god, when did I get so damn fat?!”