Old, Worthless Catcher Jorge Posada Naturally Getting Interest from Phillies

Just when you thought they hadn’t heard you, the Phillies are fulfilling your final Christmas wish:  Showing interest in Jorge Posada.

“Oh, thank you, thank y–wait.  I didn’t ask for that.  Who would want that?” you’re asking.

Well, apparently, the Orioles, Rays, and Phillies would want that.  But the Phillies don’t even have the “divisional rival spite” angle to work with.  They’re just doing it because… they really… want… to.  Apparently.  And we get to watch another one of these stories churn through the news cycle.

The Phillies have a way of showing interest in the players I hate the most.  First Jeff Francoeur, then Carlos Beltran, and now Jorge Posada are some of the whiniest, oft-injured, poorly-faced players I could hop to see play in a Phillies uniform.  Plus, with Jim Thome locked in, we already have our “Elderly veteran whose presence is excused because of their illustrious career” slot filled.

Posada is old news, and the headline is “GO AWAY.”  He hit very poorly during the regular season and hit just well enough to be noticed in the NLDS, but not enough for the Yankees to, you know.  Win it.  And, as I’m sure I need to remind most of you, there is no cheap “hitting only” position in the National League for Posada to slide into and before disappearing into retirement.

I mean, it’s like the Phillies are just showing interest in every available player in order to keep their options open.  Or that because of the gaping offensive hole in our NLDS performance, each and every source of hitting is being investigated, regardless of how seriously management is taking the process.

But that can’t be what’s happening.  It’s become clear that with every name in every headline of every rumor has a big chance of being a Philadelphia Phillie soon.  Otherwise, they wouldn’t be able to report about it on the internet and blogs would just be generating content for the sake of putting new words on their sites.