Phillies Put Decisive End to Pete Orr Bidding War

In December 2009, Cliff Lee was torn away from the Phillies.  In October 2011, Pete Orr suffered the exact same fate.  Pete’s exit from the organization several days ago sent emotional shockwaves to the deepest parts of the Canadian wilderness.

Fortunately, both stories end the same way.

Just as Cliff Lee was returned to us safe and sound from the AL West, Pete Orr has resurfaced as one of the Phillies’ first minor league contracts of the offseason.  The weirdly fast infielder will be around to step in should one of the better, more popular players step on a LEGO or have a baby or something.

He’ll also be pinch running, most likely, thanks to, again, his frightening velocity and precise slides.  He also appears to be pretty elusive.

Unbar your bedroom door; this is no longer a winter in which you will be forced to mourn the loss of a beloved friend, slowly becoming a grizzled, diseased mess as you wonder what will become of the Phillies’ infield depth.

He can now look forward to a Philadelphia Magazine cover story, a billboard welcoming him back to town, and a Sports Illustrated spread dedicated to him and his fellow Phillies shortstops (They’re “Phair-to-middling Phour!“)