Just So You Know, Roy Oswalt Isn’t Retiring So Don’t Even Ask
By Justin Klugh
Hey, look! Its Roy Oswalt! Wonder what he’s up to! Maybe retiring?
NO.
Roy Oswalt’s agent recently truth-punched the media with an upper cut of authenticity.
"“There’s been a rebirth. There’s been talk in the past about retiring, but that’s not even in the cards at this point. It’s a different Roy. It’s a different feeling for him right now. He’s enjoying the game right now like he used to when he was younger. He’s definitely not retiring.”–Bob Garber, Roy’s Agent"
Did you know Roy was miserable? I mean, I know he was at kind of a low point, but wow. But this is like your dad revealing at Thanksgiving that he was fired and has been delivering newspapers for the past year. And after it almost driving him to edge of his sanity, he now finds it totally satisfying. I guess its kind of like that.
The point is, Roy has been birthed out a second time, and is now knee deep in the placenta of success. Yesterday’s frustrating loss seems to have stirred within him a burning desire to keep playing, which is the opposite of what you’d expect from a 33-year-old pitcher on a team in the midst of a violent tailspin whose stated that he could walk away from the game at any time and be totally fine with it.
The bigger question now becomes, where will Roy go? As we scramble to start putting people’s signatures on things, there is already a line forming–Jimmy, Madson, and Cole are in it, and Roy has a $16 million option that feels like a lot more than it is when you consider how much time he spent being injured this year. And while stories about ax murders have their value on the bench, its become clear that Roy’s true contributions to a team should be through his pitching ability.
But, its only September. For one more day. And then there’s October. So the horrible process in which we lose some of our favorite players to the icy cold, heartless business side of the game can be ignored for a bit longer before people start getting cut off like gangrenous limbs.