Red Bull Invites You to Watch Jimmy Rollins "Crank It" Today

After this, who knows what other hip, young beverages will be slapping on the Jimmy Rollins Label (TM)

Before we get into the shameless self-promotion of the lovable Jimmy Rollins, lets all go over to the #1 Phillies blog on the internet, The Fightins, were I was interviewed over the weekend about a series of baseball games that have already happened!!  Seriously.

Last year, the baseball gods seemed to tell us, “Mmmm… no.  This is stupid.”

But Red Bull “Too bad!  We’re going to fucking do it anyway!!

That’s the atypical “Red Bull” stance on anything:  all rational discussions are replaced by violent outbursts, manic arm-waving and involuntary twitching.  But Jimmy’s campaign to hit a baseball the longest distance ever recorded isn’t something people can just shelf and forget about.  This is history here.  This is history of the human race.

“Rollins is encouraging his fellow Philadelphians to stop by to witness the science, the technology, the talent, the strength, or to just see their favorite professional athlete really hit it out of the park…and over a highway.”

This is science here.

“Mmm, yes.  That’s why I’m out here drunk on a Monday at noon.  Science.”

Nevertheless, Philadelphia is closing a busy street from  12 pm – 1 pm this afternoon so that one of its greatest heroes can plow his way into the record books, courtesy of an energy drink.

**Jimmy hits 30 consecutive pop-ups, waves to crowd, leaves.**

So now, instead of not seeing Jimmy Rollins strut onto the Ben Franklin Parkway, wink at a crowd of squealing fans, and hammer a baseball past Babe Ruth in the record books, we are going to possibly see that.  Which, if it sounds unnecessary, just remember that Jimmy has a lot of promotional work to do.

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Tags: Ben Franklin Guiness Book Of World Record Hilarious Jimmy Rollins Red Bull

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