Phillies Prospect Faces Correct Accusations of Steroid Use

Use your ← → (arrows) to browse

In one of those articles that actually doesn’t have a video crammed in the middle,we’ve got some drug-addled news out of the Phillies Dominican League team.  I’ll let MLB reporter/secret agent from the Deep South Rhett Bollinger explain.

“Phillies Minor League pitcher San Lazaro Solano, a member of the organization’s Dominican Summer League team, tested positive for Boldenone.”

–Rhett Bollinger

Oh my god.  This raises a number of important questions, for instance:

  • What the hell is Boldenone.
  • Who the hell is San Lazaro Solano.

Naturally, let’s start with the drugs.

Boldenone is a steroid, seven times as anabolic as testosterone, that is usually reserved for horses, when they are too crippled and/or depressed to get out of bed in the morning.  The substance initiates weight gain, thicker hair, and better looks.  And as the old saying goes, “If it’s good for a sick horse, it will probably make you a better baseball player.”

San Lazaro Solano is a 20-year-old, right handed pitcher who mostly started and sometimes relieved on the Phillies Dominican Summer League roster.  I don’t really know anything else and used up all my research on the drug thing and all my hilarity on the “sick horse/baseball player” joke.

He will be suspended for the first 50 games of the 2011 season, as weakened horses the world over plot revenge for their stash being raided.

Use your ← → (arrows) to browse

Next Phillies Game Full schedule »

Tags: Boldenone Dominican Minors Phillies San Lazaro Solano Steroids Summer League

comments powered by Disqus