Raul Ibanez Fights Insatiable Hunger to Play Baseball

“I wish we started the season the week after it ended for us.  I can’t wait for spring training to start. I can’t wait to get on with it.”

–Raul Ibanez

Raul Ibanez has had quite enough of this “winter” and its piles of snow, terrifying driving conditions, and zero baseball.It’s not every 38-year-old whose ready for another go-around at a professional sport.  The guy down the street from me claims he used to play minor league ball, and I know for a fact that he spends 18-19 hours a day composing the next issue of his government conspiracy newsletter.

Fortunately for Raul, his personalized cheer sounds a lot like like booing, so I’m not sure if he’s ever thought he’s gained the disdain of the fans.

Besides, if he really starts feeling his age creep up on him, he could go back to using ster–

*Raul Ibanez kicks in the door of my house; the hinges go flying.  I barely have time to turn and face the intruder before he grabs me by the collar and begins throttling me against my own stove top.  I have a concussion within seconds.*

Wait, stop!  I was going to say “stern looks at opposing pitchers!”

*Wordlessly, he drops me to the floor and leaves immediately.*

Okay, now where was I.  Right.  Raul’s $11.5 million will keep him off the bench as much as it can, but his part in “Operation: Bounce-Back” will play a part as well.  Is he less capable of a resurgence than his teammates because he is so old?

*My front door opens a crack and Raul’s head pokes through, staring stone-cold dead-eyes into my soul.*

Um, of course he’s not.  If Angel Pagan can say that the Mets will be a threat, than it’s more fan fair for us to assume that Raul Ibanez can be an effective starter.  I wouldn’t stand in his way right now anyway, with how much he seems to be looking forward to it.

*Door closes*

Am I concerned?  Of course.  This outfield could be a different brand of cheese every night.

In the mean time, just admire Raul’s youthful pop and start snapping those snowy pictures to see Roy Halladay in person!  Not at a baseball game, though.

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Tags: Mets Off Season Phillies Raul Ibanez

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