Of course, maybe he didn’t fail it per se, but we were at the point in our relationship with Dennys that all that stood in our way was a physical. If we can just slide this feast of fat jokes off the table for a second, let’s consider something: Dennys Reyes is a hefty dude. Maybe he fell off the treadmill. Maybe Ruben looked away for a second and Dennys had eaten half of his briefcase.Maybe the elation of signing Cliff Lee finally tapered down and Ruben was left holding the bill, and quickly realized the full scope of his efforts. Somebody’s got to go, so perhaps this was a case of first hired, first fired?
Or maybe he just plain old couldn’t pass a physical.
The point is, Dennys Reyes and the Phillies will not be toasting to their originally planned $1.1 million, one year contract that at some point a week ago was the highlight of our off season moves. Clearly, Ruben has every bit of confidence that he can track down left-handed relief somewhere else, and for cheaper. There’s always the farm system. Or possibly initiating a string of kidnappings. He’ll find a way.
And our seasoned batch of fresh fat jokes must roll their way toward another target.
“God damn it,” said Mike Zagurski, getting the news halfway through a cheeseburger eating contest.