"Sir! We've picked up something on radar! Looks ghostly!"

Kyle Kendrick Fights off Rumors of Competence


The sound echoed from the sections just above the Phillies dugout.  Kyle Kendrick hid behind the brim of his hat. There was no mistake about it; nobody was chanting “CHOOOOCH” or “RAUUUUUL” or “SHOOOOES.” One would have to question why they would be saying that at all.


Yup.  Undeniably, the Phillies fans were weary of the two-handed shellacking by the Dodgers. Everything the men in blue hit would find a hole; every chance they had to score, they would. It was like trying to stop a man from bleeding by shouting at him.


Kyle was leaving the game with the Phillies down 6-0.  He went 3.1 innings.  He had 1 walk and 2 strikeouts.  He was the monster in the closet we’re always afraid will burst out when he touches the ball.


Dodgers 15, Phillies 9

How many games this season would nine runs have been more than enough?  If we could harvest the nine runs from this loss and sprinkle two of them on Cole Hamels‘ last start, and smear the rest over some particularly gutwrenching moments between the nightmares of May and June, we’d have four or five more wins.

And right after some people were typing things about Kyle all complimentary-like, sort of.

And yet, amidst all the dark sided Kendrickery, and Jimmy Rollins tripping over a base on his way to two errors, there were these bizarre patches of offense that popped up to remind us that the Phillies were still here, like a ghost ship showing up on a radar after vanishing decades ago.  Dom Brown hit his first major league home run and finished the night with four RBI.  Ross Gload had two home runs.

No matter how nice or head-scratching the offense chose to be, there was just never an opportunity that the Dodgers didn’t capitalize on.  Then, there were those spectacular moments where the Phillies didn’t seem to be conscious, which more than opened the floodgates for an apparently potent offensive Dodgers lineup.  Andre Ethier was 4-for-4 with 3 RBI.

“We couldn’t stop them,” Charlie Manuel said, his eyes distant and glazed, like a doughnut perched sadly on the horizon.

It was a bad time, unless you were Jay Gibbons, who for no reason went 3-for-4 with 3 RBI as well. What are you supposed to do to combat that?  Take Kendrick out?  Okay, then what?  Rely on the bullpen?  Oh, you mean this bullpen?

A Bastardo 0.2 3 1 1 0 1 0 5.54
D Herndon 2.0 3 4 4 1 1 1 4.82
D Baez 1.0 3 2 2 1 0 0 5.54

Heeeeeyy… awesome.

Granted, Contreras, Durbin, and Romero finished the game up with a combined 2 IP, 5 K’s, 2 ER, and 1 H, which isn’t terrible, but when coming at the end of this disease-ridden wagon train.

Oh!  And the Braves and Mets won.

If that sounds like a lot of pitchers, it is because it is all of them… except Brad I guess… and it was part of a night that gutted the bench and most of the pen, prompting this text message in the bottom of the ninth:

“Just turned the game on.  Why is Cole Hamels batting?!”

Yup.  It was that kind of Kyle.

I don’t understand why you won’t just follow TBOH on Twitter of Facebook already.  I thought we were both committed to this.

Image courtesy of allmoviephoto.com

Tags: Andre Ethier Charlie Manuel Dodgers Dom Brown Jay Gibbons Kyle Kendrick Phillies Ross Gload

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