Jamie Moyer Linked to Retirement for First Time in 47 Years

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

This is the mantra of subpar repair men the world over.  A simple utterance of this cliche is enough to make any out of the loop contingent calling for change back off and scramble back down their cry-hole.  Who are we to judge what’s wrong, even if sparks are flying, parts are falling off, and “L’s” are close to the same number as “W’s”?

But things break.  Its their nature.  Bones, brains, hearts, ulnar collateral ligaments; all are capable of being together one night and crushed to splinters the next.

I’m glad to see the Phillies don’t think they ain’t broke.  Firing Milt Thompson shows that the Phils brass and we, the obnoxious word-sayers foaming at the keyboard, are close to the same page.  At times, it can feel like CBP could be on fire and Ruben Amaro’s course of action would be to smile in to a TV camera and mutter something cryptic out the side of his mouth, as we all scream, “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO SOMETHING!”

Was it the right something?  Well, that’s another cliche:  only time will tell.  These Phillies have proven they can thrive when it is darkest and peter out when being handed a gift wrapped victory with a wink and a smile.  Hopefully, Greg Gross is a solid (first) change to get the ball rolling toward redemption (“Ok, guys, step 1:  I assure you, you will get more than one chance to hit the ball if you don’t swing at the FIRST DAMN PITCH EVERY TIME.”)

The point is, its a change at a time when staying the same would have done nothing but further deflate our biblically catastrophic meltdown since late May.

And then, there’s Jamie Moyer and his sprained ulnar collateral ligament.  If this is really the end of the old man, then pack up and head to the bomb shelter while avoiding Grandpa’s taunts of “I told you so!” because the apocalypse is around the corner.  Sure, he may need surgery, but the man went through four of them this offseason just to play ball.

He gets surgery while brushing his teeth.  When the doctor says “Count backwards from ten,” he says, “Fuck you!” and knocks himself out with a brick.

Philadelphia Phillies starting pitcher Jamie Moyer sits in the dugout as he waits to pitch against the New York Yankees in the first inning of their MLB inter-league baseball game at Yankee Stadium in New York, June 16, 2010. REUTERS/Ray Stubblebine (UNITED STATES - Tags: SPORT BASEBALL)

"Why does my head hu... oh, right. The bricks."

But, as HK once said, “Ah, but the baseball gods have a way of bringing us back down to earth.”

If this means Jamie Moyer’s retirement, it is a shame he threw a 2010 campaign so hard fought, so visceral, so 74 mph, only to find his team seven games back in late July.

Well, we’re broke.  Time to start fixing.

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Tags: Jamie Moyer Milt Thompson Phillies Retirement

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