Update Because I Stopped to Watch 20 Minutes of ESPN this Afternoon

Was anybody watching the Scott Van Pelt Show today?  Van Pelt was talking about basketball… he kept saying “talkin’ hoops” like he’d just made it up… and suddenly they just lapsed into a phone interview from Cliff Lee?  Like Cliff had just called ESPN for a totally different reason and they asked if they could patch him through to Van Pelt’s studio.  It was weird.

Anyways, Cliff says Seattle is a death camp and he longs for the sweet, tasteful, toxic breaths of Philadelphia’s oxygen.  No… no, he didn’t.  He said he was fine.  He said he had moved on.

Of cou… course he has… Why would he wait around for…

*gentle sobbing*

“There’s no given that if I pitch in the playoffs again, that I’ll be that good.”

See, Phillies fans?  Cliff Lee doesn’t even plan on being good in the playoffs, ever again.  Thank god.

Meanwhile, oooooooh-h-h-h-ooooo my god, did you see Tommy Hanson’s slider drop the fuck out of the way of those Mets bats?  And I spelled “Oh” like that because it was my totally audible reaction (in my living room, by myself) to seeing the first Grapefruit League game highlights today between the Braves and Mets, and then to said Tommy Hanson death-pitch from hell.

Gary Matthews, Jr., however, grounded into a double play to end an inning.  Thankfully for the Mets, the Angels are footing most of that bill.

“Matthews says he is a natural to bat leadoff.”

–New York Post

Ah ha, ha.  Settle down.

Also, I kept cringing for the moment Cliff Lee would tell Scott Van Pelt that he looked forward to a long future of worshiping Howard Stern’s prostate.