“Oh, so now that the Phillies are THE powerhouse in the National league, every network’s finding room to air a Phillies’ game? Now everybody WANTS to watch the Phillies?!” I demanded of my computer monitor.
“Yes,” replied the world.
“I… oh. Fine.”
If you’re starting to wonder how often I throw a childlike temper tantrum while sitting in this computer chair, the answer is “way more than an adult should; and more often than not, without a real reason to.”
So if you were hoping to escape from Phillies baseball this season, too bad. All 162 games will be hitting the airwaves on one sports network or another: 102 on CSN, 45 on MyPHL17, nine on FOX, three on the Comcast Network, and three on ESPN (nationally!). So strap in and prepare your eyeballs for some world class baseball, followed by an inning of “Brad Lidge’s Carnival of Pitching Horror.”
Just kidding. I hope.
“Would you like some more pitchers, Ruben?”
“SURE, PILE ‘UM ON!”
Ruben Amaro’s appetite for young pitching has grown ravenous, as four more young’ns have been pinned to the 40-man roster:
Drew Naylor (RHP)
This Brisbane, Australia-born hurler is 6′ 3″, 233 lbs., which is no Phillippe Aumont, but still. That’s a lot of person. In 2008, this particular “a lot of person” threw a combined 156 K’s between Lakewood and Clearwater, with a 4.85 ERA down south and a 2.99 ERA next door in Jersey. Last year, he spent all summer Threshin’ it up in Clearwater, with an 8-11 record, a 4.22 ERA, and 115 K’s.
Stats, schmats. I will love this guy so much if during his first major league interview someday, he answered every question by pulling out a 10-inch blade and saying “… this is a knoife.”
Mike Zagurski (LHP)
Shaggy-haired blonde guy is back! I’m so happy to hear his name again. I thought he was dead. I mean, I thought it was a possibility. Like, a small one. Like it is with everyone when you don’t hear about them in a while. This has taken a dark turn.
Um, 27-year-old Zagurski’s been riddled with injuries, it turns out, and missed the last two seasons to his ailment-battling, which included–oh boy–Tommy John Surgery.
“Aw, poor guy,” said Scott Mathieson.
J.C. Ramirez (RHP)
Honestly, right now my biggest problem with this 21-year-old is that I will have the most difficult time in the world not calling him “J.C. Romero,” and when I realize I’ll never remember his real name, I will just call him “J.C. Romero II: Electric Boogaloo.” But he skipped into town from the Mariners; his arms locked with Phillippe Aumont and Tyson Gillies, so he’s clearly talented, if he doesn’t lower the bar set by those two.
David Herndon (RHP)
Herndon was signed by the Halos in 2006, and tragically spent his summer in Arkansas. At least he was there to play AA baseball, though, and went 5-6 with a 3.03 ERA and 11 saves. The Phils snared him as a Rule 5 draft in December of last year. Now, he’s got to stay on the roster all season or else he won’t be eligible to be offered back to the Angels for half of his $50,000 claiming price tag. Oh my god, I’m sure they’re there for a reason, the rules of the business of baseball sound so stupid to me.
And apparently, there is also a David Herndon out there who is not a baseball player, but a Christian music enthusiast, and he does not know what you are talking about if you ask him questions about being signed by the Phillies. So don’t click that link. I really don’t know why I even put it there.
When it comes to pitchers, I’m with Ruben: Stack ‘um high. We need all we can get, if only to take the “throw shit at the wall and see what sticks” approach. But from what I’ve seen, nobody is true shit, yet, so let’s be happy about the young arms populating the roster and not threatening people with knives. Yet.
This image is even funnier because didn’t we see a kid doing the same thing to the camera at a Villanova basketball game a few weeks ago? Way to go, children of Philadelphia.