A Phillies fan at 40: Another World Series title would be great

It's not fun to wake up on your 40th birthday and then five seconds later have the gross remembrance that your team's once-promising season crashed and burned so catastrophically, the final insult coming just hours before. Other than that, it's been a nice birthday for me.

On the whole, it's been a wild ride for any 40-year old Philadelphia Phillies fan such as myself. First, there was bad team after bad team throughout your entire youth, with the exception of an unlikely 1993 club that created a bunch of excitement, abruptly departed, and has been talked about fondly by fans older than us for three decades since.

Then came some more really bad teams before our faith (or phaith) was finally rewarded with a dominant run from 2007 to 2011 that probably should have resulted in more than one World Series. But, I guess we had to take what we could get before another lost decade until the team sprung back to life these past three years to start a new run. Will the current iteration of the club eventually hit paydirt, or just leave us bitter and disappointed all over again? A roller coaster, indeed.

When will the Phillies deliver a second World Series title for their 40-year-old fans?

All of the losing over the years, and all of the disappointments over specific players and entire eras of the team, have perpetuated the "negative Philadelphia fan" stereotype. I don't deny it. It's almost a comfort when they lose, and you can make fun of how bad things are. When they win and things are going great, there's nothing to say. Smiling and being generally happy don't come easy to Philadelphia fans, a formula that WIP and other local media outlets have thrived on for decades.

Throughout my youth, I became increasingly aggravated at seeing the grainy old footage from 1980, as the Phillies' lone World Series title to that point was being run into the ground. Now, 2008 is getting there. Though it was just 16 years ago, the video from that magical season looks so bad that it might as well have been etched on some cave walls.

We need something new to hang our hats on. Yes, there have been magical playoff moments the last couple of years, but deep down we all are disappointed if it doesn't end in a parade.

I've spent countless hours and a boatload of money and emotional investment like many of you over the years on this team. That's dozens of games at the Vet and dozens at Citizens Bank Park since it opened, a number of which I used to keep score at just so I could bring you the recaps decades later.

I've traveled to see the Phils play in Pittsburgh, Chicago, and Detroit, as well as two different parks in New York, DC, and Atlanta. I've missed my fair share of games because the season is so long and the Phillies have often been outright bad, but I keep track of the passage of time by spouting off the names of old relievers and bit players, celebrating their contributions even as I hold the likes of Chase Utley, Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins in the highest of esteem.

I hold grudges against opponents, and most of all against former Phillies themselves who aggravated the fanbase while they were here. A certain Hall of Fame third baseman who talked his way out of town is always at the forefront of my mind, but I'm looking at guys like you too, Andy Ashby and Jonathan Papelbon. As some physical proof of fandom, I have a stack of ticket stubs so thick I can't get my hands around it, and it'd be even fatter if physical tickets hadn't gone the way of the dodo.

I watch, I agonize, I write, I bank things in my memory, all to accumulate some database of this team that I can readily access with my mental Rolodex. The Phillies are a forever commitment for me, and I expect for just about anyone reading these words and having had a similar experience. I'm trying to pass along this foundation to my sons, with mixed results, but it'll get there. They wouldn't want me to choose between them and the Phillies. I'm kidding, mostly.

Obviously, you can't win it all every year, but some seasons sure have been a lot more exciting than others, even when they almost always end in disappointment. I guess all we can hope for is to be entertained and feel proud of the team when all is said and done, while not being too annoyed at whichever team's fans get to celebrate around us.

On this specific day, as I write this, it is embarrassing to be a Phillies fan, having just seen them play so poorly against a hated rival in a playoff series we had effectively spent our lifetimes waiting for. But the wound will heal, becoming just another part of the scar tissue that we've built up. And we'll keep coming back for more as we chase that 2008 feeling once again.

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