Lenny Dykstra wants to be the Phillies manager

The headline no one thought they’d write when the Phillies fired Gabe Kapler…

“If you want to win, hire me.” It’s Dykstra 4 Phillies Manager 2020 time.

Lenny Dykstra, the former Phillies outfielder most recently indicted for making terroristic threats against an Uber driver and preparing to fight the Bagel Boss, is throwing his hat into the ring for the Phillies manager job.

Dykstra released an “official statement” video on Twitter after the Phillies announced they fired Gabe Kapler.

Needless to say, Dykstra’s video is a doozy.

In a separate tweet Dykstra apologizes to the fans of his other former team (the Mets) for not being interested in their manager opening. Dykstra cites the “HustleCrisis” in Philadelphia as the reason he wants to run the Phillies.

The first minute of Dyktra’s statement makes sense, citing a lack of pitching and overall talent in Philadelphia during Kapler’s two year run as manager.

Then, it goes full-on Dykstra.

Lenny things players want to be average and that the biggest fear in his life is being average, which he certainly is not.

Then, Dykstra asks the question we’ve all been thinking: “Why in the f— wouldn’t they want to hire me”

Everyone wants to hire someone who was sentenced to three years in prison following a no-contest plea to charges of grand theft auto and filing a false financial statement. Everyone wants a manager who was accused of credit card fraud. And of course, every manager’s best trait comes from their experience with 24 legal actions over a two-year period.

I hope for Lenny’s sake he’s turning his life around and has gotten help after reported use of performance-enhancing and recreational drugs highlighted in the Mitchell Report.

Needless to say, Dykstra is not on my list of 14 candidates for the Phillies manager job.