Bringing sexy back: The Philadelphia Phillies re-sign Grady Sizemore


Jake Roth-USA TODAY Sports

Reportedly, ever since the Phillies signed their latest television rights deal with Comcast, the cable company has gained influence in the team’s decision-making processes. It was supposedly Comcast’s influence that led to the reassignment of long-time broadcasters Chris Wheeler and Gary Matthews.

It seems logical that with the Phillies’ television ratings dropping, they might try to garner some additional female fans by assembling the “hottest” roster they could.  So it should come as no surprise that the Phillies re-signed outfielder Grady Sizemore to a one-year deal yesterday.

Sizemore was a former All-Star with the Cleveland Indians in the mid-2000s. He drew attention not only for his strong play, but also for his good looks. Back in his prime, Cleveland’s Jacobs Field would be home to legions of adoring female fans, many of whom wore “Mrs. Sizemore” shirts or brought signs asking Grady for a date (and often a lot more.)

So how did Sizemore end up on the Phillies in the first place?

Due to a series of injuries, Sizemore struggled greatly towards the end of the decade. After missing the entirety of 2012 and 2013, it looked like his career might be over. But he continued to rehab and signed with the Boston Red Sox before the 2014 season.

There was no fairy tale ending for Sizemore in Boston however, as he hit poorly and was eventually released. In mid-June,lacking many viable major league outfielders, the Phillies decided to pick him up.

It looked like a wise decision at first. Sizemore played well both offensively and defensively, and soon began to steal time away from Domonic Brown. But as the season drifted further into irrelevancy, Phillies management concluded they’d be better served finding out if Brown could turn his season around, rather than giving playing time to a 31 year old who wasn’t signed past the season.

Dreamy. Image Credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Relegated to a bench role, Sizemore struggled down the stretch. He was awful as a pinch hitter, and the lack of playing time appeared to hurt his concentration, as he made a few memorable fielding gaffes as well.

Considering his struggles as a reserve, it might seem strange – potential Comcast influence aside – that the Phillies chose to bring him back to presumably serve in a bench/fourth outfielder role. But it’s obvious that the Phillies need to gather as many viable outfield options as they possibly can.

They have no idea what to expect out of Dom Brown, and might attempt to trade him. Right fielder Marlon Byrd could also be moved if the Phillies want to clear some salary space. So there might be a decent amount of playing time available for him.

Even if he finds his way back on the bench, that’s probably okay. Just because he didn’t do well as a pinch hitter in 2014, it doesn’t mean that he won’t be able to succeed going forward. Considering the Phillies had Tony Gwynn, Jr. (and his .152 batting average) as their backup center fielder for most of 2014, it’s not like Sizemore has a lot to live up to.

And look on the bright side: Even if the Phillies play poorly in 2014 (and they most likely will!), at least we’ll be able to spend time looking at Sizemore’s dreamy face. That’s enough to make even the worst games a little more watchable.