Start Panicking – Phillies Resign Michael Martinez (UPDATE)

Jesus, Ruben. Show us some mercy. Mandatory Credit: Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

UPDATE (10:19AM): 

Despite report, Phillies say they have not re-signed Mini Mart.— Chris Branch (@ChrisBranchTNJ) October 18, 2013

Maybe we lucked out this time. Will update with any other news.

And yes, my used-for-dramatic-effect sentence about the “undeniable, absolutely factual truth of the matter” is wildly entertaining at this point – I deserve to be made fun of on that one.

ORIGINAL POST:

Source: #Phillies re-sign Michael Martinez, who recently elected free agency.— Chris Cotillo (@ChrisCotillo) October 18, 2013

Sure he’s only MEANT to be minor league filler. Sure he’s a switch-hitter who “plays” a few different “positions” in the field. Sure he doesn’t cost any discernible amount of money.

But the undeniable, absolutely factual truth of the matter is, The Philadelphia Phillies are paying for a FOURTH year of now 31-year-old Michael Martinez. This doesn’t scream of a GM who claims to know that he’s “always” on the hot seat, especially for the first signing of the offseason.

Michael Martinez represents something to Phillies fans – the symbol of an era which we’re desperately trying to escape. He has exactly zero benefit to a winning major league club – and if he’s your first or second line of depth in the event of an injury, then you have no competitive chances in October.

This season his BA (.175) was lower than 3 Phillies starting pitchers (Cliff Lee, Cole Hamels, John Lannan), Hamels and Lee each had more RBIs, and even 2013 Roy Halladay had more walks than him.

We’re comparing his hitting to pitchers. There’s no indicators in the advanced stats to even begin to suggest any simmering breakout, either. His .250 BAbip in 2013 is actually 35 points BETTER than his career .215 average.

Yup.

I have yet to read any interview where someone asks Ruben the logic behind keeping Martinez around – Freddy Galvis can play all of the same positions to a higher level than him, and he has an average utility player bat (I’d even rather throw Galvis out in CF occasionally, in the same circumstances as Mini-Mart. He can’t be worse).

Hope extra hard for Chase Utley‘s knees to function this year, because if he goes down, is there anyone else to call up right now?