Jonathan Papelbon Is Sick Of This


The Phillies lost Sunday 12-4 to the Detroit Tigers. It was their 8th loss in a row. One could surmise that the mood in the club house is tenuous at best. Jonathan Papelbon decided he has had enough.

He told’s Todd Zolecki that he, “definitely didn’t come here for this.” Oh is that right Paps? You don’t want to lose? The best part is he has more to say!

He also isn’t a big fan of the direction the organization is headed. When asked about it he chided, “Oh man, we could be here all day.”

Jul 28, 2013; Detroit, MI, USA; Philadelphia Phillies relief pitcher Jonathan Papelbon (58) pitches in the eighth inning against the Detroit Tigers at Comerica Park. Detroit won 12-4. Mandatory Credit: Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports

Don’t fret. He has a plan! “It’s going to take, in my opinion, a lot,” he said. “And in my opinion, I think it’s going to have to be something very similar to what the Red Sox went through a couple years ago. From top to bottom.”

If you recall, the Boston Red Sox were able to con the Los Angeles Dodgers into taking Josh Beckett, Carl Crawford, and Adrian Gonzalez. Look, he is probably right. The Phillies do need to make some big sweeping changes, but you don’t need to voice your douchey opinion about it.  Especially when you aren’t all that good.

He is 20 for 25 in save opportunities.  The speed on his pitches is declining. His strike outs per nine innings stands at a career low 7.9.  Long ago he lost it in his head, now he is losing his ability to pitch. Papelbon should be one of the first to go.

Does he want to go? “No, I would like to stay here. But if I’m going to have to put up with this year after year, then no, I don’t want to be here. Why would you? Why would anybody?” Just shut up.

If Ruben Amaro can trick some team into taking Papelbon it will be a good trade deadline.  If he can, the asshole quotient of the team will decrease meaning we won’t have to support this insufferable, pompous rum head anymore. Seriously, he gave himself the nickname “Cinco Ocho.” If that doesn’t give you douche chills, nothing will. It is time to say adios, amigo.