Dom Brown Not Going to Frantically Vote Himself into All-Star Game

What’s the hold up, people?

Dom Brown has been a legend for, like, two weeks, and he’s not leading all NL outfielders in All-Star votes?

HE’S NOT EVEN AMONG THE VOTE-GETTERS?

Dom Brown’s story is one of justice and satisfaction.  He is the trendiest trend in MLB right now, except for maybe Chris Davis, but he’s not even in the same league.  Dom is all anybody wants to talk about, which means we have to get him an unbeatable volume of votes now before they start pitching around him or he crumbles under the pressure.

June 3, 2013; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Philadelphia Phillies left fielder Domonic Brown (9) celebrates with infielder Kevin Frandsen (28) after defeating the Miami Marlins at Citizens Bank Park. The Philadelphia Phillies defeated the Miami Marlins 7-2. Mandatory Credit: Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

But seriously, where are all the national voters who want to brag about how they’re voting for Dom because they picked him to win a batting title or saw him play in Lehigh Valley once?  Where are all those snobs, with their free afternoons to vote 25 times in a row?

Well, hopefully, they’ll come in time, but for now, Dom is relying on us, the frantic, reactionary multitudes to get him into that game.  It was just this week we were talking about getting him into the Home Run Derby, too.  And we had already determined that despite the year’s crappiness, Brown, Kyle Kendrick, Cliff Lee, and Jonathan Papelbon would all be representing the Phillies.  That’s a lot of guys for a third place-at-best team.

So get it together, people.  If Dom can’t rely on Phillies fans to have his back like they have for the past few years [EDITOR’S NOTE: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA H] then who can he rely on?  Wally Joyner can only vote a limited amount of times like the rest of us.