Carlos Zambrano Totally Ready and Available, He Reminds You

ByJustin Klugh|

Hello?

Hey, yeah, guys.  It’s me.  It’s Carlos.

“Big Z” they used to call me.  Now they don’t really call me anything.  Unless… does “whispering to each other and pointing” count as a nickname?  Yeah, I didn’t think so.

Anyways.

Aug. 22, 2012; Phoenix, AZ, USA: Miami Marlins pitcher Carlos Zambrano pitches in the eighth inning against the Arizona Diamondbacks at Chase Field. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

I’m still down here in Clearwater, livin’ it up with these low A minor leaguers.  They’re a cool bunch.  We have fun.  They mutter things to each other, and then shove one of their friends in my direction, and he sheepishly asks me a question related to my anger problem.  And I just smile and nod.  It’s a thing we have!  We’re all friends.

So, I don’t know if you saw, but I threw six scoreless innings the other day.  It was pretty cool, I guess.  They just kept sending these kids with bats up there and I got most of ‘um out.  I mean, it’s low A ball, so it’s not like this is a truly difficult thing to do.  I remember being a ball player at their age and all I wanted to do was put in my workouts, do the best I can, and secretly throttle the towel boy when no one was looking.

I just want to make sure you guys know I’m doing all right.  Like, pretty doggone all right.  Six scoreless seems like it would be a dream for the Phillies at the Major League level.  But I understand.  Sometimes it can be hard to admit you really need help.  Sometimes bashing a Gatorade cooler with a bat just seems like the only sane thing to do.

When that camera crew from “Behind the Pinstripes” came up to me, I thought it was to tell me I was being promoted.  It was a little irritating when they just wanted to talk to me about baseball, but I understand, I think.  Mostly, I just want to pitch.  Sometimes I want to pitch so badly that I wake up with blood on my hands!  Ha!  Ha ha!

2013 could be a big year for us, if you let it be.  So I guess I’m just saying I’ll be down here, if you need.  Right over here in Clearwater.  Throwing six shutout innings.  No big deal.