Phillies Don’t Make Another Top 10 List for Various Baseball Skills
By Justin Klugh
Another morning, another list of things baseball teams are good at.
Another list conspicuously lacking the Phillies.
This one wasn’t ranking farm systems or prospects – the almighty rankers seemed to have moved on from disintegrating our future before our very eyes – but focuses rather on one of our present aspects, the bullpen. It is not one of the top ten in baseball. It is, however, deserving of a short blurb in a garbage-time paragraph at the end of the article in which I think every team gets mentioned.
"“The addition of Mike Adams should help the Phillies get late leads into the hands of Jonathan Papelbon.”—Anthony Castrovince, MLB.com"
Yeah! Suck it, Braves and Nationals.
“No, it’s fine. That horrible wince I make; that’s my ‘throwin’ face.'” Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports
What’s that? You guys were ranked #1 and #3 in baseball, respectively? You had entire paragraphs composed on your allure and attraction, instead of less than twenty words about Mike Adams, whose 2012 health problems mimic those of the now-retired Chris Carpenter?
And your young arms are unquestionably talented, rather than a soft underbelly of inexperience? Wow. It’s almost like this list exists for the sole purpose of me feeling bad about myself. Well, we don’t need these lists to validate ourselves; we don’t need them for any self-confidence, or approval of industry leaders. Certainly.
JUST THROW US A BONE HERE FOR CHRIST’S SAKE A PITY #10 RANK OR AN HONORABLE MENTION FOR HAVING ALL OUR BEST PROSPECTS TOP OUT AS FUTURE RELIEVERS OH GOD OH GOD MAYBE BONUS POINTS FOR FILLING OUT THE ROSTER
**Clears throat, straightens shirt**
I don’t think the Phillies bullpen gets a fair shake, though I won’t go on record saying that they are truly a top ten pen. I think at least a few of young arms will have the development and experience to turn raw talent into effective talent; I think Adams, when healthy, is a solid bridge to Papelbon, and I think the addition of Durbin – which is hopefully the last mid-thirties reliever Ruben signs to “stabilize” the back of the bullpen and be an example to the young guys – isn’t faulty in the guy::team sense. The money::guy sense is a little harder.
But you have all sorts of predictive analysis waiting for you in the weeks to come! Don’t you worry your mop-topped little head.
**Musses up your hair. But you’re sleeping so you don’t notice. Takes a few pens off your desk and climbs out window.**