Phillies Are Interested In Vernon Wells And Every Other Player You Don’t Want
By John Stolnis

If my choice is Vernon Wells and platoon… I choose platoon. Mandatory Credit: Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports
Ruben Amaro has done a really good job trolling Phillies fans this year.
The Phils have already signed John Lannan to a free agent deal, traded for Texas third baseman Michael Young, and have been linked to potential trade targets Alfonso Soriano and Ichiro Suzuki.
While there are a handful of Phils fans who like some of these moves (I’m just fine with Lannan and Young, not so much Soriano and Ichiro), most can’t understand why Amaro is showing interest in so many players that seem to either be well past their prime or just flat-out stink.
And now, Vernon Wells, everybody! Let the crapstorm begin!
NO RT @mlbtraderumors Phils Interested In Vernon Wells, Still In On Cody Ross http://t.co/5ENQqthW #mlb
— Amerigo Vegucci (@tonyisdynamic) December 18, 2012
I am interested in diving head first through a window. RT @sbnphilly Phillies interested in Vernon Wells http://t.co/5f47RQx2
— Justin (@JustinF_89) December 19, 2012
Come to think of it Burn In Hell sounds a lot like Vernon Wells... #illuminati #Mayans
— Jade (@jadelmetz) December 19, 2012
Phillies Considering Vernon Wells, I Lose Will To Live http://t.co/qLuFkS0D
— The Good Phight - x (@TheGoodPhight) December 19, 2012
Remember that guy that you read about a few years ago, and were like, "Ha ha, wow. Glad he's not in Philly." Yeah Ruben's "in" on him.
— Justin Klugh (@justin_klugh) December 19, 2012
Yup, that just about sums it up.
Vernon Wells makes completely, absolutely, totally and utterly no sense whatsoever.
Last year Vern played in just 77 games, hitting .230/.279/.403 for an OPS of .682 with 11 HRs, after missing significant time with a thumb injury. His OPS+ the last two years were 84 and 91, and he enters 2013 at 34 years old.
Oh, and Wells makes $21 million in each of the next two years.
The Angels would LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE to be out from under from Vernon’s contract, but would likely have to pick up a significant portion of his salary in order to get the Phillies to bite.
But even if the Angels offer to pay for the whole damn thing, the Phils should still say no.
Wells is not a right-handed, power-hitting, 30-homer guy anymore. He’s only hit more than 30 HRs once in the last six years (31 in 2011, when he actually made the AL All-Star team), and has only posted a WAR above 1.8 once during that time (3.6 in 2011). Last year, his WAR was 0.5 and in 2012 it was -0.8.
Guys, this is not a player who can help anyone.
Trading for Wells certainly shouldn’t cost the Phils much in terms of minor league talent, but it would soak up valuable playing time that should be given to Darin Ruf and Domonic Brown.
It would be a move just for the sake of making a move, and it is one from which Amaro should run screaming like he’s being chased by a swarm of angry bees.
Personally, I think RAJ is just having fun with everyone.
I mean, that’s the only real answer, right?