Shane Victorino Gives Answer to Phillies-Related Question


Shane Victorino used to play for the Philadelphia Phillies, a baseball team, but now plays for the Los Angeles Dodgers, a second, not as beloved baseball team.  His departure from Philadelphia was not fueled by fans’ desire to see him go, but rather by the innate desire of the front office to prevent the loss of money and talent with no return and to also hurt everyone’s feelings in a seriously personal manner.

Recently, with the Phillies playing far better baseball than they have all year, Shane was asked if he has foreseen a playoff scenario in which his new plays his old team; a situation that would feature multiple narratives, replays of the last time they two teams played in a heated post season match up, and even a baseball game.

Naturally, these are the embers of a rivalry waiting to burn.  So let’s listen to what Shane had to say about all this.

"“I have not sat back and thought about that scenario, but it would be very interesting.  I don’t count anything out, and us playing them for the last wild-card spot could happen.”—Shane Victorino, without even looking up at you"

Where do you get off, sir?

Jayne Kamin-Oncea-US PRESSWIRE

They better put a muzzle on that boy before he gets somebody killed.  Shane was my favorite player, but after spewing such violent, profanity-laced vitriol in public, I don’t know if I can ever use my ears again.  And I didn’t even hear him say it.  I just read it on the internet.

Shane has clearly forgotten about all the good times he had in Philadelphia, and is willing to cast them aside in favor of making bold, vulgar, horrible, mean-spirited, wildly gesticulated statements insulting his former team.

“I have not sat back and thought about that scenario?!”  As if we’re some sort of long shot nonfactor in the NL Wild Card?  As if it would take a ridiculous amount of very particular circumstances for us to break down the door?  As if these questions are being asked of you for no reason at all than to get a reaction?!

You got some nerve, pal.  Being asked questions.  Answering them.  Acting like we’re definitely not probably going to the World Series.  You’ve changed, Shane.  I can remember a time when you’d be asked a question, and grab the microphone out of the reporter’s hand and start beating him over the head with it while chanting an authentic Hawaiian hymn [EDITOR’S NOTE: Gonna go ahead and confirm that this, along most things stated before and after it, did/will not happen.]

Now you’re all about “answers.”  Well, I gotta an answer for you, Shane:  “I hope so.”

The question was, “Did you hear and/or see me when I was at Dodger Stadium a few weeks back?  I got tickets in left field for the sole purpose of screaming at you while wearing my Phillies Victorino jersey.”