Placido Polanco’s Trade Value Plummets Quickly Back to Zero
By Justin Klugh

If a Placido Polanco back injury really caught you off guard at this point, then you are bad at paying attention. I would take a good look around you right now because your house may be consumed by roaring flames and your painful ignorance has made you, until now, ridiculously unaware.
So, as Polly’s lower back inflames, giving Ty Wigginton a jolt of excitement/dread, several things reach out and touch the AL East, for some reason. The Orioles, who’d expressed minor interest in Polanco as having a really nice smile I guess, are probably no longer going to be calling to find out the availability of a guy on the DL.
And the Yankees, who’ve expressed interest in Ty Wigginton because the post game buffet keeps having leftovers, probably aren’t going to get their man as we now need him to play third base. Whatever the Yankees need to do to fill in for A-Rod will have to come in from some other combination of journeymen. You’d think this might slow the Yankees down a bit, but it’s been three logn years and they’re probably due to win the World Series again.
The Phillies announce today that some mystery guest from Lehigh Valley will take Polly’s spot on the roster. It will be Michael Martinez. No one get excited.