Phast Phive: Phundamentally Phlawed


“My knee feels significantly better,” said Chase Utley on February 23.  Those were the days, three and a half weeks ago.  Those… were the days.

Justin Klugh

Some writers just want to throw their hands in the air and watch the world panic.  Most of those writers work here, where we can take your primal, freakish responses to horrible news and confirm your irresponsibly outlandish behavior.  Ryan Howard is out?  Yes, let’s all wear colanders on our heads.  Chase Utley is hurt?  Of course we should all be digging mystery graves.

Others, however, choose to look at the issues rationally, and offer opinions based on facts, and… and words.  Crashburn Alley is the place where this happens, offering a devastating counter weight to the irrational shouting you’re subjected to on this web site.  Why, just ask the extremely important interview we conducted this week.  But the cherry on top is this post by Michael Baumann, on why Phillies fans, even at this somewhat dire point, can remain calm, and possibly even be a bit excited.

Meanwhile, since we’re apparently moved on from being a pitching-first club to a pitching-only club, here’s whose pitching in the coming preseason games courtesy of David Hale.  No word yet on whether anyone else will bother to go onto the field.

John Ricco

Well. It’s happened. Utley is dead. As Rollins compassionately put it:

"“I was looking around like, this is what I have to get used to.”"

Yes Jimmy. Utley has been sent to a farm to play with other second basemen according to @phillie_ebooks, Philly’s most reputable source for fragmented baseball news.

Over at The Citizens Bankers, my fellow twitter-obsessed-Philadelphia-suburbanite Jonathan Nisula rolled out his predictions for the bullpen this year.

Tony DiStefano

Welcome to the future. Here is the Phillies’ new second baseman. At least he has two working knees.

I am sort of disappointed in the fact that the Nationals aren’t rushing this kid. I want to boo him NOW!

Ethan Seidel

All of you who were worried about Dontrelle Willis finding another job can breathe easy. Hardball Talk is reporting that the Orioles have signed him to a minor league deal. Is he a starter? Is he a reliever? I think we probably know the answer to those questions, but if he can’t make the Orioles roster then we may be watching the farewell tour of the D-Train.

The most frustrating aspect of the the Utley situation has been the lack of information. Lack of information to the media, which also means we fans get nothing either. My first reaction is to blame the Phillies brass for keeping us in the dark, but Phil Sheridan of the Inquirer speculates how much Utley has kept from them.

After all, no one seemed to be worried about Utley’s knees at the start of camp, especially Ruben. The only thing we know at this point is that we really don’t know anything concrete about when we’ll see Chase on the field again. Panic time yet?  (EDITOR’S NOTE: I told you, yes.)