List of People on Phillies Winter Tour Just Getting Ridiculous


Okay now, Phillies.  You want to keep us interested over the frigid delirium of the winter months.  I mean, we weren’t that not interested anymore.  We were just kind of mad.  Not “angry” mad.  “Mad” like a scientist.  Not any angry scientist.  A crazy one.

And like a mad scientist, you guys keep concocting people to put on the Winter Tour of folks who play/work for the Phillies and go and visit towns and stuff.  The only thing that that really makes them have in common with a mad scientist is the verb “concoct,” so let’s just agree that it was a flawless metaphor and move on.

I thought things couldn’t feel any better when Steve Noworyta was announced as making an appearance.  That guy basically has “No Worries” written into his name, so he’s got to be a fun man to be around.  After that, the Phillies started adding people that I’ve actually heard of.

Whoa now.

Suddenly, we’re dealing with Charlie Manuel, Mickey Morandini, and even Ruben Amaro cleared some space on his schedule between “Having that guy killed who scorned me” and “Celebrating another successful killing.”

Never sneak a peek at Ruben Amaro’s schedule.  Some people… you don’t want to know what they’re up to.

The most recent addition to the tour is an actual player of baseball, which is revolutionizing the very idea of traveling around the region, getting people excited about the Phillies.  Jesse Biddle, whose ranking in the Phillies farm system has skyrocketed due to his skill as a pitcher and most of the other prospects being traded.

I still remember when Jesse first was drafted by the Phillies; a local boy from one of those suburban schools you’ve heard about where all the talented high schoolers go, he was the perfect fit.

“Who will the Phillies draft?” people asked me in a draft chat.

“Well, Jesse Biddle…” I said, and before I had the chance to list the other possible eleven names to cast a wide prediction net so there was no way for me to be wrong, Bud Selig said the Phillies had indeed drafted Biddle.  I looked like a genius.

Thank you, Phillies.

Now, their “you’re welcome” is in the form of letting us look at Jesse; letting us poke and prod him with our eyes and fingers, if we can get close enough.  After all, we deserve to know the beating hearts in our minor league system personally.