Billy Wagner Apparently Drunk Dialed by Desperate Phillies

If reaching out to Travis d’Arnaud is calling your ex, getting in touch with Billy Wagner is drunk dialing your high school fling who accidentally burned down your parents’ house.

Which the Phillies apparently seemed keen on doing before the Papelbon deal went through.  With the speed and intensity at which the Phillies are operating this offseason, I was giving them a lot of credit for seemingly having a plan and executing it without much distraction.  It inspires confidence, and other positive emotions that seem foreign and confusing this time of year.

But calling Billy Wagner… that is not healthy behavior.

Billy Wagner is that closer with whom we had a brief fling and who didn’t understand why a clubhouse full of players would stop liking him just because he insulted them in public.  Then he made sure everybody heard him.

You don’t expect a guy like Billy Wagner to have regrets.  Not because he shouldn’t, but because he’s too stupid to know when he should.

I’m not really sure what the Phillies were trying to prove by getting him on the horn.  Maybe they were trying to ditch the last few de-cryers of Papelbon’s deal by framing it with some alternate universe where Billy Wagner is still around and shitting on people?  Probably.  That’s probably it.

Its not like Ruben Amaro is above using mind games to get people on his side; but I can’t imagine what we all think really factors into his decisions in any way.  So really, there’s no answer here other than just being glad that whatever the hell the Phillies were trying to accomplish by getting back in touch with this douche bag fell through.

Wagner seems more likely to jimmy open Ruben’s liquor cabinet than listen to people or be a part of a team.  Besides, this current Phillies squad has enough former Phillies on it already.