Giants Fan Speculates on Tim Lincecum’s Desire to Kill Phillies Fan


There was recently a contest held by Red Bull to see which baseball fan could best imitate Tim Lincecum, and the winner was a guy from Philadelphia named Lance Lempert.  Lance gets to face Lincecum during the next preseason as a reward.

This Giants blog took the opportunity to stretch that information into some casual threats, remembering the “Charlie Manuel doesn’t think Tim Lincecum is very good” fiasco that had people captivated for an hour or two in July.

Charlie tends to ramble, and why he chose to single out one of the game’s best pitchers as someone the Phillies can beat–when we haven’t… so many times–is something only he knows.  But his point was that he believed we could beat the Giants.

And when we went into San Francisco, we did.  And then a lot of other teams did, too.  So many, in fact, that the defending World Champions didn’t even make the playoffs.  Which was hard to understand, because they’re so quirky and fun and have all that heart.  Oh well.

The point being, its always entertaining to watch other fans suit up and take shots at Phillies fans, because when they do, they usually succumb to the notion that we’re overtly threatening and ready to kill at a moments notice, and they wind up overcompensating.

"“Lincecum can’t drill Manuel, who is a senior citizen, but Lance, you’re 20. You’re fair game.”"

Not sure if Tim Lincecum would appreciate his name linked to enthusiastic beanings of people because they happen to be 20 years old.  If I had known when I turned that age that I had to be constantly looking over my shoulder for a stalker who planned to chuck a 92-mph heater into my spine, that would have been a particularly stressful year.

It’s cool, though.  I can make easy jokes too.


“This guy won a ‘Tim Lincecum impression’ contest?  Oh man.  How many bongs did they catch him with?  Right? Ha ha.  Bongs.

*Rimshot, followed by sound of microphone feedback and nervous coughing*

In conclusion, this was barely worth writing about, but its the offseason, and I’ve got a post quota to meet.