Halladay Halts Skid as Phillies Pound Pelfrey

Charlie Manuel is really pissed.

"I know what I’m talking about. I’ve been in the game for 50 years. I know exactly what I’m talking about. I preach about it every day. People hear it, but they look at me like I’m stupid or crazy. Maybe I am."

Maybe irrationally insane is a more apt description.  Hopefully the ax that he keeps sharpened in his office for the off chance that he will have to use it will stay in its protective sheath as the Phillies pounded out nineteen hits in their victory today.

No televisions thrown out of windows by adults who care way too much about baseball, no post game speeches from the players telling us not to panic and no more losing streak.

Mike Pelfrey appeared to be exactly what the Phillies needed to break out of their offensive malaise, him and an intact line up for the fifth time since Hunter Pence arrived.  Sure Ryan Howard looked like his leg was going to fall off, but he managed to go 2-3 with a run scored and an RBI before Charlie pinch ran for him.  Pelfrey got knocked out of the game after three innings of getting slammed directly in the balls.  Three innings, nine hits and five earned runs.  He was absolutely terrible.

Halladay, on the other hand, pitched like October is right around the corner.  He threw six innings of shutout ball and only struggled when he loaded the bases in an obvious attempt to practice what it is like to pitch with the bases loaded.  He left the game after throwing seventy seven pitches as pitching coach Rich Dubee tricked him into entering the locker room by claiming that there was a stair running competition inside.  He was quickly tranquilized and placed in a hyperbaric chamber until October.

It sure was nice to win a game, but this one did not come without its share of hand wringing.  Ryan Howard looks exactly like he did before they injected him with cortisone.  Luckily they do not pay the man to run.  Antonio Bastardo continues to struggle mightily after my brother in law purchased a Bastardo jersey for me.  He allowed a two run homer to noted ass face Ronny Paulino and could not find the strike zone yet again.

The offense scored nine runs in an attempt to make us forget about the last eight games in which they could not do anything.  “See!  We can still do it!”  was the message sent by the first inning home run off the bat of Hunter Pence.  Further backing us off the ledge was the fact that every starter including Roy Halladay collected at least one hit.  Jimmy Rollins is starting to swing a hot bat following yesterday’s three hit game with another three hit effort.  Carlos Ruiz has his average hovering around .300 for the second consecutive season after a four hit effort and Pence attempted to make us forget that he hurt his knee with three hits and an absolute rocket to the opposite field to start the scoring.

You know what would really make us all feel better Phillies?  Do that again.

Tomorrow Cliff Lee tries to screw over the Braves as they send rookie Randall Delgado into the wild card chase.