Phillies Fans Stare Expectantly at Dom Brown, Tap Watches


He wasn’t a legend immediately upon reaching the Major Leagues.  He wasn’t a legend in the 2010 playoffs run.  He wasn’t a legend for most of 2011.

I’m beginning to wonder if Dom Brown is going to measure up to the borderline ludicrously unreasonable expectations we’ve set for him.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again–What is so hard about playing a sport perfectly every time?

Sure, we stood in front of him while the trade deadline approached, assuming our amorphous human fan-shield could somehow prevent Ruben Amaro from tossing Dom aside if he wanted to.  Ruben had a hearty chortle at our efforts, knowing damn well he could have each one of us individually killed via our own personal worst fears any time he wanted.  If he’d wanted to ditch Dom, he would have, and there would have been nothing that all of us screaming “HIGH CEILING!” and “STILL YOUNG!” and “GREAT SMILE!” could have done.

Then, after surviving the Hunter Pence deal, he was daytripped up to Lehigh Valley, where he was supposed to jump on Triple-A pitching like a psychopath, warping baseballs into the next dimension and generally wreaking havoc across the International League landscape.

We’re hearing reports that that hasn’t happened yet.  From the newspaper.  Probably the same one you read.

He’s knocked in two runs in 67 chances with the Ironpigs and is currently hitting .179, which makes him a slightly better option than Ross Gload as a left handed bat off the bench.  If you’re only just eeking past the Gload Line, that’s not a very productive series of at-bats.  And with September right around the corner, Dom Brown’s Big Epic Comeback Thing is running out of time.

Which means somebody else from the minors would be called up ahead of him, unless we blatantly are just handed Jim Thome with a little bow on his head.  Who would be this mystery “prospect”?  Somebody said Brandon Moss, who I remember making a sarcastic remark about during Spring Training.

So until Dom Brown flips that switch every baseball player has to become perfect, I say we just keep talking down about him until he does something heroic and we can love him again.  Until then, our fandom, much like baseball talent, will be turned off until we feel like turning it on again.