Hunter Pence Loses Focus at Critical Moment of ‘Simon Says’


At a pivotal moment in last night’s game, Hunter Pence cost himself what would have been assured victory when he only raised his arms halfway up, rather than the full length suggested by the contestant acting as “Simon.”

“I don’t know what happened,” he lamented later.  “It was pretty loud in there.”

Competitor Brian Schneider scoffed at the claim.  “If he wants to say it was loud, that’s his thing.  But I was there, and I’m telling you that the directions were perfectly discernible.  Trying to make excuses like that is just…”

Schneider trailed off, allowing his patronizing head shake and light chuckle speak for itself.

Pence, whose strategy of “Paying really close attention to what was happening” had been paying off for several minutes, sources say.  He appeared at ease, flawlessly taking instructions from Simon without so much of a glance at what the other contestants were doing.  Sadly, he hesitated when told to raise his arms in the air and wound up in what the umpire decided was too different of a position than the one requested and called him out.  The unfortunate misstep late in the game cost him everything.

“It can happen that fast,” Schneider explained.  “It’s a heads up game.  I am totally unapologetic.”

It was an understandably frustrating time to Pence, for whom everything had been going so well.

“I don’t know what to say, all right?!” Pence uncharacteristically shouted at the media, before cleaning out his locker and never being seen again.