I Want To Go To the Zoo With…. Charlie Morton?
By Editorial Staff
Let’s just take a look at the pitchers that stumbled to the hill during this game; Kyle Kendrick, Mike Zagurski, J.C. Romero and Danys Baez. Obviously these are not the pitchers that you would choose to actually win a game.
It was not suprising that these shit baskets gave up five runs to the Pirates including the first home run of the year to Brandon Wood. Brandon Wood is not good at baseball. These are the sort of examples that make everyone think that Kendrick is better suited as a pinch runner than he is actually staring a major league baseball game.
Does everyone remember when Charlie Morton was terrible? Apparently he doesn’t. He was watched a bunch of film on Roy Halladay and has miraculously learned how to not suck at pitching. How jealous do you think that Kendrick is? He followed Halladay around all over the place last year and STILL was fucking awful. Morton held the Phillies to two runs and six hits over seven innings of work. At least he didn’t figure out how to pitch when he was on the Braves.
The Phillies mounted something of a rally in the bottom of the eighth inning on Pirates closer Joel Hanrahan, even bringing the winning run to the plate in the person of Chase Utley. Utley flied out weekly to left field proving that he is still getting his timing (hopefully it isn’t that he can’t hit). In the last two games the two people who have had the best at bats have been a pitcher (Cole Hamels) and a rookie (Domonic Brown). This all lead to a 5-3 defeat and a series loss to the lowely Pirates. In addition Jimmy Rollins fouled a ball off his knee and will probably be out of the line up for the series finale.
Hopefully the offense can figure it out against former Dodgers prospect James Macdonald. If they do not score for Roy Halladay I would not be suprised if everyone on the team wakes up with a dead horse head in their collective beds.