“So Dom Brown broke his hand,” someone told me at a party last night. I go to a lot of parties. I’m very popular.
But this party took a turn for the WTF as this information reached me. I’d heard he’d left the game after recording his first non-out of Spring Training. I assumed it was because he was being rushed to a congratulatory party.
Not everyone, it seems, parties as hard as I do. Especially not when they’ve recently fractured themselves.The bone in question here is the “hook of his hamate bone.” According to Wikipedia, a hamate bone “is a bone.” There’s further definitions of the term after that statement but it’s all sciencey and I am just not in the mood to relay that information to you, or even link you to it, really.
“Hamate” is Latin for “hook,” so really, Dom Brown broke the hook of his hook bone. Its commonly broken by golfers who swing wrong. Also commonly injured in this fashion are baseball players, so much so that a lot of them have the bone removed. Does Dom Brown have enough dedication to baseball to have a bone removed entirely from the equation, rather than have the off chance of breaking it again in the future? Why not remove several of the other more breakable bones as well? In fact, we should probably just cut out Chase Utley’s knee with the tendinitis, too.
This attitude is why I am invited to so many of my aforementioned parties.
Spring Training has really been an eye-opening experience. The baseball gods have done everything in their power to repel Dom Brown away from the late. They struck him out nine times in 15 hitless at bats, and when they finally allowed him to put the bat on the ball, he breaks himself. And now people will have to think twice before offering a sweet high five to the youngest guy on the team.