Chooch Makes More of Himself for the World to Enjoy
By Justin Klugh
I may not respect babies, but I respect the people brave enough to pledge themselves to one until its old enough to hate them for no reason. Not that I really needed further reasons to respect Carlos Ruiz.The Phillies lost yesterday, and I’m not going to say that it was all because Chooch wasn’t in the lineup; or that losing a game in Spring Training means anything to human people. The point is, we lost. To the Orioles. But the Orioles are good now, remember? So it’s not that embarrassing.
Wait, no, I forgot. The point is that Chooch is a happy father for the second time after a Caesarian section delivery from his wife in Panama. That was probably just a little too much information to not be creepy, but that’s okay. In the elation and surprise feces of child birth, no one realizes how creepy I can get. Carlos wasn’t in the lineup because he was jetting back to the homeland to witness the event. Some people probably noticed.
In all seriousness, congratulations to Carlos and his wife and Carlos (his already born 8-year-old son). May the coming years be filled with treasured memories and the coming season be filled with unbelievably skilled catching.