Brett Myers Runs Out of Words to Say About Phillies
By Justin Klugh

If you thought the next round of Brett Myers-vs.-the Phillies-vs.-His feelings would involve retribution, self-pity, or misguided quotes, you’re wrong. This time, Brett’s going with “casual indifference,” adding a new flavor of nonexistence to this nonrivalry
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Ed Wade pours his Phillies-Astros cocktail into Citizens Bank Park on opening day, bringing an inebriating volume of ex-Phils back to the fold (J.A. Happ, Sergio Escalona, Nelson Figueroa, Michael Bourn, and Jason Michael, along with Brett of course, are the ex/present members of both clubs, until Ruben decides there’s another Astro or two he desires).
We all laughed at Brett when he discussed how satisfying it would be to come back to Philly last year as a lowly Astro and destroy the shit the out of us. We laughed as they arrived, we laughed as he unpacked his things, and we laughed as Houston casually erased us entirely from a four game series that a lot of people actually thought proved we would not make the playoffs. At that point, the laughter was more of a nervous chortle, with our voices subtly cracking as we fought back tears.
Before that, after the initial trade, Brett was interviewed about his feelings, and he used the opportunity to host a pity party. But honestly, go to the Astros’ official MLB site and tell me whose featured prominently on the background, and read this thing tell me who Brad Mills is all but telling you is their Opening Day starter. It’s Brett, in case you didn’t click the link or I forgot to insert any of them. I do that sometimes.
Brett’s a clown; and I don’t mean that in a bad way. Clowns are fun. They’re also crazy. But they’re fun, too, at least they’re meant to be. And in Houston, Brett gets to be recognized for his massive improvements and even though there’s less of a chance of playoff berth, he receives the spotlight, whereas in Philly, he would have wound up being eclipsed.
But now Brett seems to be over all of this, and just wants to pitch. Now, coming back to Philly means nothing more than another baseball game in which he will do his best. There’s honor in that. Or maturity, or whatever. The point is, the reporters are going to have to go some other well to dig up their anti-Phillies sentiment.