Phanatic Pumpkin Says “Squash the Reds”

And a special thanks to reader Erin for her creation (if you want your words/pictures tossed onto this tire fire of a blog, send it to thatballsouttahere@gmail.com)

I forgot to do this yesterday, but my phone/inbox were penetrated by a violent barrage of text messages and emails.  The following communications were fed to me in the midst of the aftermath of Roy’s big thing.

(267):  I have so many baseball questions for you WHERE IS MY ENCYCLOPEDIA

(760):  [Making out with Roy Halladay] It’s not gay.  It can’t be.  Is it gay?  I feel so confused inside right now.

(484):  Ahhhhhhhhhhh

(484):  hhhhhhhhhhhhhh

(267):  Per tradition I strolled into the bar at 7th inning to catch the game.

(606):  Halladay better do this or I’m all whiskeyed up with nothing to celebrate and that means horror.

(717):  Halladay sucks.  It’s been done.

I know we’re stretching for things to write about right now, people, but can we try to focus on the present?  Is Jayson Werth’s contract really anymore not Scott Boras’ to salivate over than it was last week?  Of course not.  He’s caressing it as we speak.  And everything Jayson does in the post season is just making him do it all the more seductively.

Now this? This is news.  Because it is funny.  Or dated.  Actually it’s a shirt with colors on it and that’s probably why it’s got my attention.  Look a pumpkin!