Phillies Televise Unedited Merciless Beatdown of Nationals


We don’t discuss politics here on TBOH, mainly because we know nothing about them.  Who are these “politics”?  What are they discussing?  Why does it need to be televised on C-SPAN?  Why not televise a clown, sitting at a desk, sharpening pencils one by one, and staring into the camera?  At least that would have an element of mystery.

But I just wanted to say that President Obama’s little “White Sox cap maneuver” was… questionable.  You can’t fault a man for repping his team in front of a crowd of opposing fans (though its not like the Sox were in town or anything), but Washington needs some support here.  They got ten-runned Opening Day, for god’s sake.  If anybody needs all the help they can get, its the Nationals.

If Mayor Nutter strolled onto the field at CBP and slapped on a Cleveland Indians hat, he would be booed to death.  Try to imagine what that would look like.  A man being booed and jeered and harassed verbally with such intensity that he straight up died right there on the field.  Yeah.  Awful.

Phillies 11, Nationals 1

And thus begins Roy Halladay’s merciless assault on the NL East.

Honestly, today wasn’t truly Opening Day for the Phillies.  Nothing against the Nationals (except 11 runs), because I don’t think it would have mattered who we were playing, but Doc had such a hard-on for the season to start, he would have ripped any lineup to pieces today.  I know he’s not genuinely unbeatable, but a pitcher with his dedication and abilities and sheer desire is going to be foaming at the mouth to get some actual play in.

He controlled the game,” said Charlie Manuel, constantly looking over his shoulder and ending every inquiry regarding Halladay with a lurch and a “He’s not here, is he?!”

Which is why I think the true Opening Day will be Cole’s start tomorrow.  We didn’t need evidence to know Roy would dominate; Cole is the question mark everybody’s been waiting for.  Namely, “Will he suck?  Will he be great?”

Only Wednesday’s baseball will tell.

On the other side, Ryan Howard’s home run was “Yeah!” and Roy Halladay’s RBI was “HELL Yeah!” and Placido Polanco’s grand slam was “All… all right, enough already.”  Ever see that episode of Deadwood where Sy Tolliver beats those two kids to death for trying to steal from him?  Yeah, like that.

Meanwhile, the Braves and Mets had fairly dominant days as well.  Jason Heyward hit a 3-run homer in his first career at bat.  Not a grand slam, like Chase Utley, but whatever.  Still a little impressive.  I guess.