Sweep and a Half
By Justin Klugh
The south.
In the summertime, the air is a thick layer of skunk breath swirling softly and gently with a pollen-based atmosphere backed by the pulsing throb of a million cicadas.
And then, you have to play baseball.
It’s no wonder the Phillies haven’t won a game there all year. Although Philadelphia presents its own set of challenges for visiting teams, I can’t think of a single reason why someone would travel to Georgia this time of year unless it was job related.
Lately, the Phillies’ job has been to win. And also to have shitty things happen to Shane Victorino.
Joe Blanton parked himself on the mound and refused to go anywhere for over seven innings. When you think about our rotation, Blanton is always the one whom I think of last. But he does not go quietly into that good night, and provides a spectacular crotch-kick to the back of the rotation.
It’s not even worth the keystrokes to mention that Brad Lidge came in and gave up some hits. So, everyone pretty much stayed within the realm of their routine patterns (except for that Feliz error).
Despite everyone stepping up their game, the Phillies are not going to be the top news story in Philadelphia until they start abusing some puppies for money.
Tomorrow at 4, Cole Hamels takes the mound against the lineup Blanton seemed to have few issues putting to bed. The 7-7, World Series MVP has been unable to hide some poor showings this year. What is behind this?
Pressure put on from a World Series hangover?
No matter what the case, it sure would be nice to keep the ball rolling on this winning streak, especially up against one of the teams nipping at our heals.
Some notes.
Jayson Werth: You were a National League All-Star, sir. Do you know what that means? It means you are now part of a losing streak that stretches back to the Clinton administration. Start concentrating more on hitting than on wearing jerseys a size larger than necessary.
Shane Victorino: “Okay, Chicago PD, you track down the beerchucker, I’m gonna head down to Atlanta and make the Braves wonder why they even bother swinging the bat.”
Joe Blanton: Bare handed grab? Bad. Ass.