Phillies To Watch Brian Wilson Pitch, Draw Attention To Himself

Man, it would be SO MUCH FUN if Brian Wilson came here. Mandatory Credit: Peter G. Aiken-USA TODAY Sports

The Phillies have had some bullpen issues lately. Had you heard?

Well good news! The remedy to some of these problems may come in the form of one of the most loathsome and insufferable relief pitchers the game has given the American public in recent years.

That’s right, Brian Wilson may be coming to a Citizens Bank Park near you.

Numerous reports say the Phillies will watch the former San Francisco Giants’ closer pitch in Los Angeles later this week. Earlier this week, Wilson threw for his former employers in San Francisco, and according to CSN Bay Area’s Andrew Baggarly, looked pretty good.

"Wilson had terrific stuff, according to a source who saw him pitch. There wasn’t a radar gun on him but was estimated to top out at 94 mph with movement on his cutter. He showed good feel for a changeup, too.The Giants and Wilson had a falling out after the club non-tendered him last winter; the club would have been forced to guarantee him a minimum of $6.8 million through arbitration if they had tendered him a contract."

Personality aside, that’s certainly something that could play in the Phils’ current makeshift bullpen, whose 4.34 ERA is actually no longer the worst in the National League!

Thanks Cubs!

Just yesterday, the Phils put left-hander Joe Savery on the disabled list with a stiff elbow and recalled Raul Valdes to rejoin the team.

Can you even BELIEVE how much fun Brian Wilson is? Mandatory Credit: Jake Roth-USA TODAY Sports

RAUL VALDES. You can see why the Phillies may be desperate enough to sign a turd the size of Brian Wilson to a contract. Because strictly speaking in baseball terms, Wilson could be a huge low-risk, high-reward type of signing.

YOU KNOW, LIKE DELMON YOUNG WAS!!!

Whatever team signs him wouldn’t have to guarantee him much money, seeing as how he’s coming off Tommy John surgery and had only pitched in two Major League games in the last season and a half, both last year. An incentive-laden deal would be the order of the day.

And, despite Wilson’s antics, he is an effective relief pitcher when healthy.

Of course, we’re talking about Brian Wilson here…

And all that comes with him…

Hey, and here he is making fun of the Phillies! I can’t embed the video, so you’re just going to have to click on the link. It’s just the best.

Can you imagine how much FUN it’s going to be watching Wilson bring his act to Philadelphia? I mean, isn’t this guys JUST THE GREATEST???!!!

*quietly vomits in the corner*

And of course, there’s this…

Yeah, I’m not so sure I’m for this now.