Cards On The Table: Darren Daulton’s Recent Birthday Is An Excuse To Post Some Random Cards Of Him

Listen, I’m not going to lie to you. I struggled to come up with a decent “Cards on the Table” topic for this week.

There’s not a lot of news going on right now, and frankly, the news that is coming down is about as interesting as watching my sister-in-law knit something.

With that in mind, I was suddenly struck with inspiration today as I was thumbing through a stack of old baseball cards (and by old, I’m talking the late ’80s, which is actually 20 years ago now which makes me feel like I’m about ready to start yearly prostate exams) and stumbled across this gem…

There was, of course, that brief stretch in never when Darren Daulton tried his hand as a switch hitter. You know, to take advantage of all that speed. (1989 Donruss)

Yup, that’s Dutch Daulton taking his normal right-handed batting stance as he prepared for his 1989 Donruss photo.

WAIT A MINUTE! RIGHT-HANDED??? WHAT IS DAULTON TRYING TO DO!!!!??? MY MIND IS BLOWN!!! HE’S A LEFTY!!!

You know, unproven catchers can be quite jocular if given the chance.

Call it serendipitous if you will that ‘ol Darren just HAPPENED to celebrate a birthday earlier this month (by the way, let the fact that Daulton turned 48 years old sink into your old, decrepit brains for a second). I know I sure will. Dutch’s birthday was the perfect opportunity to drag out some pretty awesome cardboard of the greatest Phillies catcher since Ozzie Virgil.

Hey ladies, somebody’s got two tickets to the gun show this weekend!

It’s always fun to travel back and time and remember the halcyon days of #10, especially when you consider that Daulton actually believes time travel exists.

“Hey, is that a camera behind me? But, I’m right in the middle of a game! Tommy Greene is pitching a three-hit shut… oh what they hey… CHEEEEEEZE!!!”

Of course, we must remember that Darren Daulton didn’t become a world champion until he played for an organization that truly understands what a winning culture is all about. A franchise that does whatever it can to win, win, win, no matter the cost to themselves.

Yeah, that just doesn’t look right.

At the end of the day, Daulton was a pretty good baseball player for about two years and a pretty mediocre to lousy one for most of his career. Still, he was the team leader and All-Star starter for the ’93 team that went to the World Series, and he also helped shape this moment in Phillies history…

Oh, if only we could transport ourselves back to that wonderful night in 2009 when Jimmy Rollins did his thing in Game 4 of the NLCS.

Maybe if Darren Dauton drives his car fast enough we can. Eight-eight miles an hour anyone?