Christopher Hanewinckel-US PRESSWIRE

Roy Oswalt Now a Name We're Apparently Going to Hear

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Vance Worley is gone.  Okay?  Just forget him.  Whatever fantasies you had about him coming to your birthday party or tracking down all your Little League teammates as adults to inform them that yes, rec-specs are actually really cool are over.  Put it out of your head.

For two weeks.  In the mean time, it’s time to start wondering who will fill our gaping need in the rotation.  Will it be Kyle Kendrick?  Yes it will.  In fact, it already has.  So that’s settled.

But there’s this market out there, teeming with Roy Oswalts.  And Roy Oswalt, if you’ll recall, is a serviceable Major League pitcher, and part of that famous “[We Never Settled on a Nickname]” Phillies rotation of 2-aught-11.  Are the Phillies interested?  Let’s ask Ruben Amaro for some reason.  Or rather, let’s let beat writers ask Ruben Amaro and then use quotes from their web sites to make ourselves look more insider-ish.

“…I will tell you that right now I’m happy with our guys the way we are right now, unless something changes. I think we’ve got other fish to fry right now.”

–Ruben Amaro, via Todd Zolecki

It’s impossible to tell what Ruben means by this, as we do not know how many times he winked during his answer.  We also don’t know if it a misdirect or not, in which case, he wouldn’t wink to convince us of the statement’s authenticity.  Of course, he could just be telling the truth, but unless this truth feeds into another lie, there’d be no reason for that.

Basically, what we’re left with is a lot of shrugging.  Do the Phillies need more starting pitching?  No.  Would they rather have Worley starting than Kendrick?  Who wouldn’t.  Is Roy Oswalt the answer to any particular question?  Only if that question is “who holds the Misissippi state record for hog-killin.'”

Which is to say, Ruben will more than likely have Oswalt in a Phillies uniform by game time today.

Welcome back to the Phillies, Lil Roy!

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