People like to look at car accidents. They may not admit it, but there is a phenomenon called the gaper delay that says otherwise. The Miami Marlins have terrible uniforms, a bat shit crazy manager, shark tanks on either side of home plate, they are moving their pain in the ass shortstop to third to make way for another pain in the ass shortstop and have made themselves an absolute spectacle by acquiring Carlos Zambrano. They have officially become a car accident. The most interesting thing about this move is that it makes having shark tanks on the field seem rational.
Zambrano is not a I have a fake alter ego so I am interesting kind of crazy, he is I am going to punch my catcher in the face and enter anger management classes because he is actually dangerous type of crazy. I am really looking forward to Ozzie Guillen dealing with a pouty Hanley Ramirez and attempting to calm down an obviously insane Carlos Zambrano.
The upsetting part of the transaction is the departure of Chris Volstad. Ryan Howard has a .500 batting average with eight homers against the right hander. While we will all miss Volstad, it might be worth it to see an on the field fistfight between teammates.
Admit it, you are going to enjoy watching this car burst into flames.