Joe West Probably Sets Career Milestone for Pissing Everybody Off

The Rules!

Sometimes, they’re followed.  Unless you’re a cool kid.  Then you know the only way to impress people is to break the rules as often and brazenly as possible.  For that reason, Joe West is the coolest guy in Major League Baseball.

Instant replay is something that could be of great use to MLB, but sadly, it is only used to review home runs.  Hunter Pence, along with Charlie Manuel, along with everybody, was a bit confused as to why Joe West decided he could review a double that was not a home run.  West claimed later that Manuel had demanded the play be reviewed to see if it was a home run, and Jack McKeon just saw everybody shouting and was sick of not being included.

Obviously this dumb situation left everybody a bit frustrated, so I’ve chosen to channel that frustration into a small dissection of the Marlins announcers’ analysis, whose names I have chosen to not look up.

"“Wouldn’t you know it’s Philly fans out there, too, that perhaps could have been the guys who interfered?”"

Yes, well.  I’m sure all of the Marlins fans would have interfered with the play, but he was all the way on the other side of the stadium and let’s face it nobody can run that far in that humidity.

"“And it figures, Phillies fans reaching over, a hat and a hand, right in the way of Bryan Petersen.  If that is not overturned, then it is a big… terrible… call.”"

Welcome to Marlins Broadcaster Training Camp!  Sorry, we’re fresh out of thesauruses, so you’ll have to rely on your arsenal of descriptive, eloquent vocabulary to convey the actions of a baseball game.  We’re sure you’ll be a… a… great… good… addition to Marlins broadcasting!

"“They went after it like they were reaching for a  cheesesteak!”“Listen to you!”"

First of all, sir, the correct way to reach for a cheesesteak in Philadelphia is to push your way past everybody else in line, spit in the server’s face, and then perform a third horrible act of your own choosing.  Maybe do a little research next time.

Secondly, yes; “Listen to you!” indeed.  That witty, well-placed cliche that I suspect may have been handed to you by a production assistant, cuts pretty deep.

It’s a big day for you!  Things are happening!

Things!

"“Tom McCarthy over on Philly TV’s probably calling that a home run.”"

Okay, I understand your assumption that TMac is saying something incorrect.  But actually, the Phillies broadcasting team was talking about this.

These are the rules, which were put on screen because it seemed weird that Joe West would review a play that wasn’t a home run, after reading that first sentence.  Joe would say later that Charlie had asked him to review the play because he thought it was a home run (which Charlie disputed).  Joe’s a good guy; an even-tempered, rational man whose never spoken a wrong word in his life, so it could be pretty tough to refute his reasoning.  The fact that by saying it, he clears himself of any wrongdoing is merely an afterthought.

Just to review (pun intended):

“Instant replay applies only to home run calls.”

Number of home run calls on this play:  0

What’s important to remember is that this probably won’t matter and that the fans responsible for all the fuck-assery are a pair of humble, likeable dudes who just want you to get over it.