Some World Series Tips for Giants Fans

Now is not the time for civility, though that was probably more than clear if you read any of the “sports journalism” in the San Jose Mercury News or San Francisco Chronicle regarding Phillies fans.  But for some reason, I do feel obligated to point out the folks at McCovey Chronicles and Frisco Fastball know what they’re talking about.

Yet, living amongst the real, live Giants fans in their two-week-old hats and jerseys, I have discovered that they are some of the most baseball illiterate bandwagoners to accidentally watch a Giants game.  So I give you, our betters, some tips for your World Series trip, a service that most Phillies blogs at this junction would NEVER provide.

You’re welcome.

1.  Learn something, anything, about baseball; how it is played, what things mean, etc.

I’ve had the delightful misfortune of residing in the Bay Area for pretty much the exact chunk of time the NLCS was going on.  In that time, I’ve had no choice to go to bars (darn!) full of Giants fans (actual darn!) to watch the games, and I’ve got to tell you, it can be like watching a game in a room full of children.

Now, as a Phillies fan, you’ve got to know I have a certain leniency before a stereotype is considered “fact.”  I of course know that some of us from Philly are not going to do much worse than scream personal insults at an opposing outfielder fueled by information we got from trolling his Wikipedia page the previous afternoon at work.

So while the Bay Area press met their deadlines by penning unresearched smear campaigns against us, the general response was “Yeah well Giants fans are hippies and drink wine and eat sushi and aren’t real fans and oooooo we’re just so mad.”

And that seems just as ridiculous as lumping us all together.

But the point-blank ignorance I witnessed at several Bay Area establishments during these playoffs has been… staggering.

Here’s some of the worst offenders I overheard.  Seriously.  Can’t make this shit up.

  • “Was that a strike or a ball?” “A ball.” “And that’s the one we don’t want, right?”
  • [As Aubrey Huff is intentionally walked to create a force out at every base with two outs] “HA!  Doesn’t he know Posey’s up next?!  Their manager is an IDIOT!” [Posey struck out]
  • [Rich Dubee, the Phillies pitching coach and therefore not the manager, comes out to talk to Roy Oswalt]  “No, no, leave him in!  He’s doing great!  Ha-ha-ha!”  [I mean, I'm no Giants fan, but thanks to paying even just the SLIGHTEST BIT OF ATTENTION, I know what their manager LOOKS LIKE].
  • “Why are we booing Juan Uribe?  Didn’t he just hit a home run!”
  • At one point, a guy stood up and cheered a clearly foul ball as if it was a home run.  Like, honestly.  He jumped up, even as everyone else in the place was going “Ah, nuts,” and returning to their beers, and started cheering the screen, fist pumping; then turned to offer high-fives to the confused people at his table, brand new Giants cap and all.

And there’s plenty I’ve forgotten, I’m sure.  A couple of these you’d forgive; everybody’s got bandwagoners and idiots in their fanbase.  But the fact that these occurred over several different nights at a wide variety of places throughout the area… I mean, not even I was expecting that.

2.  You are no longer the scrappy underdog

Sorry, I know that was about 95% of your appeal.  I know its been a whole seven years since the last time you were in the World Series, but you happen to be playing one of the only teams who has never, ever, been there.  Their owner is their most famous former player who also happens to have thrown seven no-hitters in his career.  There’s a picture of him putting Robin Ventura in a headlock in their clubhouse.

If anybody is going to be scrapping and underdogging, its the Rangers.  Everybody likes to see a new team get the trophy, especially if they have no one else to root for.

“The Cody Ross Story” just doesn’t have enough universal appeal.

3.  The Rangers know how to score runs

Its fun and all to watch previously painfully mediocre players like Ross and Pat Burrell doing things out there, but the ability to poop out 3-4 runs and win a playoff game is a testament to your pitching, which is dynamo.  Sadly, in the face of a team that can routinely score 10 runs a game if it wins to, your sporadic little run-squirts will not be holding up.

“But we stopped the Braves!” says you.  “And your mighty Phillies!”

Right, that’s my point.  You beat a massively crippled Braves squad and an offensively dead Phillies team.  You did win, though; no one’s denying your victory.  But you’ve gotten away with this because you’ve been playing teams who can’t score either, who match up perfectly to your formula of pitching onslaught + squeak out a run here and there = just enough to win.

Texas:  59 R in 11 2010 playoff games.  (.281 team BA)

San Francisco:  30 R in 10 2010 playoff games. (.231 team BA)

In one more game, they’ve got almost twice the runs.  It’d be hard to believe this colossal advantage wouldn’t come into play in some meaningful way.  Meanwhile,

Atlanta:  9 R in 4 2010 playoff games (.175 team BA)

Phils:  33 R in 9 2010 playoff games (wait, what?) (.215 team BA) (oh, okay)

4.  No matter what happens, you’ll be fine

Because you barely exist.  Think about it.  You’re a Giants fan.

You guys have it easy. Win or lose, at the end of 2010, you can hang up your cap and forget you were ever a Giants fan.

And you will, too.  It’s exactly what you’ll do.  You’ll get home, slightly bummed, pour yourself a glass of that wine Scotty and Rena got you from Napa Valley, and gosh, you’ll just relax.  It’s almost a relief, isn’t it?  For it all to be over?  To not have to watch the game–well, every fifth pitch or so–and pretend to care… or actually care, but then feel like a fool for doing so, because it’s November–whose talking about baseball anymore?!  Let’s go watch the Niners’ weekly implosion.

Yes, take a breath, Giants fans.  Take a break.  Put your feet up.  Tomorrow, you can act like you never cared.  The Giants?  Who?  Oh, right, our baseball team.  Yeah, they had a good year, I guess.  Hey, are you going to the opening at Dada on 2nd?  I hear the artist spent six years in Bruges.

The season ends for you, and it just… ends.  It’s actually, physically over, and all that exhaustive caring you had to do, that you’ve never had to do, it can finally stop.

There are plenty of impassioned, interesting, and glorious people in San Francisco; but don’t tell me they got that way by investing in baseball.

So congratulations!  You were the better team.  But how will anyone ever remember?

5.  You guys really shouldn’t be wearing Bonds jerseys anymore

Does someone actually need to tell you that?

Tags: Fail Giants Nlcs Nolan Ryan Phillies Rangers World Series

  • Matt

    As someone who has grown up in Philadelphia, and is a Yankees fan, I strongly feel like this same exact piece could have been addressed to the Phillies fan circa 2008.

    I saw the people of Philadelphia not only not care about baseball and the Phillies, but actually ridicule, hate, and despise them while the Eagles dominated all sports talk. Then 2007/2008 came around. Suddenly, the Phillies were all anyone could talk about. Those EXACT same things you are looking down upon Giants fans for doing was what Phillies fans did…2 years ago! The Phils haven’t been a powerhouse for a decade with diehard fans. They are the “it” thing to like in Philly now and I am sorry but this article should have also been addressed to them too Now, if the Phillies keep it up and people continue to follow baseball for the next 5+ years, like fans in New York, Boston, Chicago, etc do then the Phillies fans can write articles like this. Until then, it is pure hypocrisy.

    • Justin Klugh

      “Hypocrisy” is such a strong word… let’s just call it “bitterness.”

      I was 6 in ’93, and that’s when I really got into Phillies baseball. Joe Carter did his thing, and then there was the strike, and then through all the dark shit of the mid ’90s to early 2000s, maybe I was too young to realize the overall fanbase melting down, but I remember weathering through those shit storms. They sucked.

      And while it is accurate to say the Phillies fans lost faith and got pissed, that’s a universal trait of a lulling team. Through it all, though, I’m pretty sure Phillies fans aren’t categorized as having trouble differentiating between a ball and a strike.

      That’s what shocked me in the end; the general lack of really basic baseball knowledge. I’m no baseball genius, but come on. To sit there and think “This is who we’re losing to?” was pretty frustrating.

      But mainly it’s the bitterness.

    • bureaucratist

      Are you high? First of all, to have grown up, actually grown up, in Philadelphia but be a Yankees fan pretty much brands you a despicable asshole. Second of all, even when the Phillies were bad, they were paid attention to, they were talked about, and no one liked it. But people cared and knew what they were talking about. OK, they didn’t always know what they were talking about, but they knew, you know, the rules of the game.

  • Natalie

    I’ve never met a single person who wears a Yankees cap who doesn’t have a clue about baseball…

    *enter Jay-Z lyrics*
    “Shit I made the Yankee hat more famous than a Yankee can”

    The fact of the matter is, Philadelphia is a very sports oriented city. We love all of our teams. I watched a few Yankees games this season and the stands were EMPTIED by the 7th inning if they were losing. That doesn’t happen in Philadelphia.

    And this quote was entirely valid, just about the only valid point of the story: “Mitch Williams, a former Phillies relief pitcher known as ‘Wild Thing’ in his playing days, now a broadcaster. ‘It’s not a social event, it’s a way of life. They’re a blue-collar town, they work hard for their money, and if they don’t see a good performance, they’re going to let you know.’”

  • BASG

    “You’ll get home, slightly bummed, pour yourself a glass of that wine Scotty and Rena got you from Napa Valley”

    “Hey, are you going to the opening at Dada on 2nd? I hear the artist spent six years in Bruges.”

    “There are plenty of impassioned, interesting, and glorious people in San Francisco; but don’t tell me they got that way by investing in baseball.”

    You know, for a town that gets so defensive whenever anybody brings up tired Philly stereotypes like booing Santa Claus, cheering Michael Irvin’s injury, battery-throwing, etc., you guys sure enjoy trotting out tired stereotypes about San Francisco.

    • Justin Klugh

      Indeed! I felt we earned the right to do so after the woefully unresearched and unfair articles I referenced in the 1st paragraph appeared. Check ‘um out if you haven’t!

    • bureaucratist

      Wait a second, aren’t we proud of booing Santa Claus and cheering Michael Irvin’s injury and regretting that it wasn’t more serious? I am, at least.

      Also, those stereotypes about San Francisco are all true, everyone knows.

  • BASG

    Both publications have had about 50 stories each about the Giants and Phillies since the NLCS started. I read pretty much all of them, but I don’t know specifically what you’re talking about. (Actually, I missed this one: , which I admit is pretty much a steaming pile of stereotype — against both sides.)

  • BASG

    Well, I guess you can’t post links in the comments. It was a San Jose Mercury news article titled: “Giants pitch-slap Phillies on the field and show them class in the stands too” by a guy named Bruce Newman, who I’ve never heard of.

  • Justin Klugh

    Yeah, its not a great comment section setup, I hate posting links in here.

    The Newman thing is the one I was referencing–I didn’t link to it on purpose because another Phillies blogger did when he wrote a rebuttal, and the San Jose Mercury News’ site traffic blew up. Newman wound up thanking him.

    I probably should have specified a little further–like…using the guy’s name–but its become such common knowledge in the Phils blogosphere I guess I didn’t even bother.

    The Chronicle’s headline had something about “Phillies sports fly high while fans take the low road” or something equally hilarious. It appeared like a day after the other one and was pretty much the exact same thing.

    • BASG

      I found the story you’re talking about (I think), but it was in the SF Examiner, not the Chronicle. Huge difference, as the Examiner is pretty much a blog site mixed with tabloid news coverage these days.

      You and other Phillies fans shouldn’t get worked up about those stories any more than you would get riled up by a story on Bleacher Report. The Examiner is hit or miss, and Newman’s some guy drumming up PV’s. Andrew Baggarly is the Merc’s beat writer and he does a great job, as does Henry Schulman in the Chronicle. Just like there are smart Phillies fans who don’t resort to homophobic chants or signs, there are plenty of rabid Giants fans who live and die with the team and care way more about baseball than wine or art gallery openings.

  • Justin Klugh

    I can immediately gather where the Examiner must rank journalistically (not a word) with the Bleacher Report comparison. Grrroooossssss.

  • Jonathan

    Wow. The level of bitterness can be tasted through my computer.

    It kind of tastes like that really bad wine a friend of mine from Philadelphia bought for me a couple of years ago.

  • Rocky

    So, these “Brand New” Giants fans, with their two week old hats,and who apparently just started watching the Giants and know nothing about baseball, need to “Stop wearing Bonds jerseys?” How could they own Bonds jerseys if they just started watching the game?

    You destroyed your own (albeit ignorant) argument just to take a stab at Barry Bonds, who hasn’t been relevant in two years?

    Typical Philly fan.

  • Matt

    You are right, hypocrisy isn’t the right word for it, bitterness is. Naturally people are bitter after they lose, I’m bitter that the Rangers took down the Yankees, and as much as I want to crack, “the Rangers have never won a playoff series, etc” jokes, I know it doesn’t change anything. All teams draw more fans when they play better, of course, but the meteoric rise that the Phillies had definitely with some, “what is a ball or strike” moments from its fans…I witnessed them from dozens of people I know.

    And to whoever said they watched a few Yankees games this season and the stands were empty, maybe you just caught a few off nights because they led all of MLB in attendance and from someone who watchd 85%+ of games this season, Yanks fans stick around. Don’t judge the empty lower level $1000 seats as an accurate representation of most fans.

  • Clint

    Agreed entirely…with Matt. Just because you may (or most likely not) have watched a few Yankee games this season and claim to have seen the most expensive seats in the Majors empty part of the time doesn’t exactly support anything. The tunnel behind those seats is a 5 star restaurant with an open bar. Hmm could people have been in there? Like Matt said, the Yankees lead the league in attendance and like it or not New York has Yankee die hards. The Phillies, like it or not, a couple of years ago had fans…but they were few and far between and that is an entirely objective view from someone who lives in Philadelphia. They now feel entitled to a World Series every year and they seemed to forget that they have to earn it. All this talk of a Philadelphia dynasty is getting way ahead of itself and guess what, you got beat. Flat out. You were out played in EVERY aspect. Get over it and stop tearing apart Giants fans, they are not the reason Cody Ross made you his bitch.

  • Rose

    Check out this article as an answer to this:

    Clearly, where ever this Philly fan watched the games in SF, they did not get a good picture of what it’s like to be a fan around here. Born and raised the Bay Area, I know there are some stereotypes the rest of the country keep about us but it certainly doesn’t include everyone. It’s been a long time since any of our major professional teams has made it this far and has a chance of bringing a championship to an area starving for one since the Niners won the Super Bowl in ’95. We have the San Jose Sharks who are the only team who have consistently made the playoffs but have yet to bring home the Cup. So, you’ll have to excuse the newest baseball or sports fans for being excited and ignorant. As for Bonds, he was on our team so any fan who chooses to wear his jersey should exercise their right to like or dislike him, wear the jersey or not. Whether anyone likes it or not he’s a part of Giants history be that good or bad. And as unlikely it may seem for everyone else around the country to have turned out this way, the Giants are in the World Series. I hope if ever returning the Bay Area, a decent tour guide makes better suggestions of where to catch a game. Trust me, true sports fans do exist here…in numbers.

  • Carolyn

    I second what Rose and some of the others said. You can stereotype us all you want. The fact that the Bay is original, diverse, and accepting is something to appreciate. No wonder there are so many Philly transplants out here.

    Oh, and by diverse, I mean if you go into MOST bars, you will be sitting next to a dry waller, plumber, people from all around the world, a guy with a tie on, an old hippie, and me…a crazy ass San Francisco native girl who has not washed her rally shirt since we beat the Padres to win the NL West, who remembers Candlestick park, who’s birthday is the same day there was a huge earthquake during the Bay Bridge World Series in 1989.
    And my rally shirt still smells better than your bitter self.
    Keep it coming…all this San Fran hating seems to be good for our team!
    Go Giants!!

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