Okay, let’s get the ball rolling this morning with a little bit of the biggest waste of time in the history of modern man. What’s the best thing for Woods to do? Move to a cabin in the Yukon, build his own course in the woods, come back in a decade with an enormous beard, win every tournament for a year straight, and fly his golf ball-shaped secret spacecraft that’s docked under his mansion into the sun.
Also just saw a headline “How Tiger Woods Bought Off the National Enquirer.” Oh, I don’t know. Probably with money.
And now, because this is a baseball blog, we’ll talk some baseball.
- “If I had my druthers, I’d love to have both [Halladay and Lee] on the club,” said Ruben Amaro and every other single person in this solar system.
- Kyle Drabek’s Reading Phillies stuff is for sale, which is honestly the saddest auction I have ever heard of, other than a 12-year-old boy putting his dead puppy’s collar on eBay. Snuffles doesn’t need it where he’s going.
- This post was originally me bitching about the Yankees-Phillies comparison again, but I read it over, and it had absolutely no point. In fact, it sounded more like a scene from “Law and Order: SVU” when they find the horse-rapist’s hideout and read out loud from his diary. I actually wrote “The Yankees are global warming. The Yankees are chemical weapons. The Yankees are the phrase, ‘Mr. Speaker, the President of the United States, Sarah Palin!’ met with thunderous applause.”
- Speaking of the Reading Phillies, the Eastern League is realigning! No one cares. I have no idea why I linked to that.
- Listen to these team names from the Eastern League: Sea Dogs, SeaWolves, Fisher Cats, Rock Cats, Curve (???), and Flying Squirrels. What is it with variations on domestic animals in that league? And what the hell is it with a “dogs from the sea” scenario that has them naming not one, but two teams after it? What the hell is a “sea wolf?!” These sound like the results of an unsupervised kindergarten class making up their own version of “science.”
- Phillies players making $10 million+ in 2010: Ryan Howard (good!), Chase Utley (yeah!), Roy Halladay (duh!), Raul Ibanez (hmm!), Brad Lidge (damn!)
I’ll try to post later with something close to a rational thought.