Offensive Powerhouse Eric Bruntlett Released

Ol’ Bruntlett, the “Brunt” (Ha ha I just came up with that hilarious) of every joke in Philadelphia, has refused a minor league assignment, along with Tyler Walker, and is planning to go live in a gutter somewhere, I guess.

Articles across the internet are reporting on his release, and the best things they can say about him are that he scored winning runs in two World Series games (neither were walk-offs, just the go-ahead) and had an unassisted triple play.

Between those instances, there was not a lot happening for Eric Bruntlett.

"Kyaah!" Eric Bruntlett, screamed, diving on the ball like a cat hunting its prey. It was one of two errors that inning.

"Kyaah!" Eric Bruntlett screamed, diving on the ball like a cat hunting its prey. It was one of two errors that inning.

No, what he did do was show up as some afterbirth of the Brad Lidge deal hitting .250, and somehow managed to have two really bad seasons that brought his BA down even further.

The man hit .171 this year.  And don’t act like he’s a defensive guy, either, because I’m almost positive he was responsible for one, and maybe two errors, in the inning right before his infamous triple play.

And what does he think, he’s too good for minor league ball?

When Ruben Amaro announced the Phillies would be on the hunt for “third base, bullpen, BENCH,” don’t you think Bruntlett would have put two and two together?  This can’t be catching him off guard (as so many grounders to second have).

“Well, Ruben said they were going to re-work the bench, but I don’t think I’ve got anything to worry about.  I’m Eric Bruntlett.”

*Teammates and reporters in the Phillies locker room all look at each other awkwardly, make excuses, and leave the room.*

I don't even understand what the hell I'm looking at, here.

I don't even understand what the hell I'm looking at, here.

The other players subtracted from the Phils 40-man roster were Tyler Walker, Andy Tracy, Paul Hoover, and John Ennis.  Tracy, Hoover, and Ennis, in their early to mid-30s, all seem to have some offensive value, and have signed on to play in Triple-A Lehigh Valley.  Bruntlett refused this offer, and again, must have some kind of grand master plan to keep himself afloat that we don’t know about.  Like managing his brother’s Dairy Queen.  But then dropping ice cream all over the floor and getting demoted to mop-boy.

Tyler Walker will also not be a Phillie next year, a more surprising factoid from the move, but also not one that’s going to have a big, emotional effect on anybody.  Walker went 2-1 for the Phils, with a 3.06 ERA in 32 games.

“God, Eric Bruntlett was terrible,” sounds so much better than “God, Eric Bruntlett is terrible.”

Topics: Andy Tracy, Eric Bruntlett, John Ennis, Lehigh Valley IronPigs, Paul Hoover, Phillies, Tyler Walker

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