Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

Jimmy Rollins is the official charmer of the U.S. national team at the World Baseball Classic, which means it is his job to make sure everyone falls in love with the team.

Well, if my behavior at the bar last night when the U.S. played Mexico and Shane and Jimmy were on the same team again after some and then many beers is any indication, mission accomplished.  But after the U.S. lost 5-2, Jimmy expressed how despite his lovable nature, this was one arena where people are not supposed to like the United States.

We need to go out today and win big! We’re not here to make friends………WIN!! Team USA

— Jimmy Rollins (@JimmyRollins11) March 9, 2013

As one of the world’s most endeared nations, America will have some work to do if Jimmy is right and their goal is to not make any friends.  People tend to see the colors of our flag and think, “Yeah, here come the Americans!  Everything is about to get better.  Let us accept their message of melting pots and morbid childhood obesity with open arms.”

All of this while playing baseball?  My god, the rest of the world is about to be America’d so hard they’re going to taste hot dogs and fireworks for a month. But Jimmy isn’t satisfied merely being the WBC.  He wants to win, and if Jon Morosi’s ridiculous, accusatory yammering is any indication, he has to win.

Is baseball still America’s game? If so, Team USA needs to win the WBC and prove it. My column: on-msn.com/ZtCv09 @mlbonfox

— Jon Morosi (@jonmorosi) March 7, 2013

But he can’t.

Team USA can’t play the style required to win in the WBC. Again. My column: msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/worl… @mlbonfox

— Jon Morosi (@jonmorosi) March 9, 2013

America, now in must-win mode, will play Italy next, who, along with batting coach Mike Piazza, just punched the friendly smiles off the Canadians with a 14-4 leaf-burning.  You didn’t know there was a ten run rule in the WBC, did you?  Well there.  And it’s in place so Italy doesn’t kill anybody.

Jimmy and the U.S. clash with Italy tonight at 9 pm, putting Ryan Vogelsong out there to take the blame if things go sideways.

Cole Hamels takes the mound at 1:05, where he will be forced to pitch to a “f*ck this” lineup of sadistic proportions that has wasted no time taking over Bright House Field.

The stacked Dominican lineup Cole Hamels will face today. twitter.com/ryanlawrence21…

— Ryan Lawrence (@ryanlawrence21) March 5, 2013

Those are perennial NL East favorites Jose Reyes and Hanley Ramirez, now happily transplanted to the AL East and NL West, respectively.  Also, there’s Robinson Cano, who I’ve heard people say is better than Chase Utley, usually while laughing, and usually while pinning me down and making me eat dirt.

Then there’s Edwin Encarnacion, who… you know what, here’s a list of their 2012 OPS/career OPS, for perspective.

• Reyes: .780/.782
• Cano: .929/.854
• Ramirez: .774/866 (Appeared in 64 games in 2012)
• Encarnacion: .941/.815

Meanwhile, Cole Hamels, the Phillies’ widely supported candidate for opening day starter, is coming off a pair of preseason starts that tally him five innings pitched, six K’s, five hits allowed, and zero earned runs.  This could be a hell of an afternoon.

For the first two innings.  Because, you know, this is spring training, and sooner or later we’re gonna see B.J. Rosenberg or some shit out there, giving up a three-run home run to Miguel Tejada.

UPDATE: DR team is so good most of the Phillies are switching teams.

The newest members of the Dominican team. twitter.com/ChrisBranchTNJ…

— Chris Branch (@ChrisBranchTNJ) March 5, 2013

But instead of one of those ridiculous games like soccer or the Olympics, they’re playing baseball when they do it.  Naturally, this attract crowds of millions.

“Yaaaay go whatever.” Bradley Leeb-USA TODAY Sports

However, the downfall of the institution is that it takes place during MLB’s spring training, forcing pro ballplayers to choose between training with their team and pledging allegiance to their country.  It’s a difficult choice, and not one that everybody makes correctly.

But the Phillies will not much of anyone pulling away this preseason.  Yes, in past years guys like Jimmy Rollins and Mike Schmidt have donned the “USA” uniforms, avoided “Dream Team” analogies, and made this country proud, maybe.  I didn’t see it.

This year, the Phillies will lose young reliever Phillippe Aumont and prospect Tyson Gillies to Team Canada, putting their development far behind and giving Canada the last laugh.  As if 1993 wasn’t enough.  BUT IT NEVER WILL BE WILL CANADA.  YOU’RE SICK.  YOU’RE ALL SICK.

Meanwhile, nobody has to worry about Chooch leaving in the middle of the night because Panama did not qualify for the tournament.  Hoo… ray?

Sorry Chooch.

The WBC will take place from March 2- March 19.  Team USA’s full roster, including Ryan Braun, will come out in the next few days.  No Phillies are supposed to be on it, but apparently they just could be without warning.  Which is weird.