That Balls Outta Here » winter

Raul Ibanez Praises Inventor of Sleds

Justin Klugh — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 14:29:16 +0000

“I jumped on one of those little sleds,” Ibanez said, “and went down a hill. It’s brilliant. Whoever came up with that–phenomenal.”

–Raul Ibanez

That would be Ancient Egyptians, Oseberg Vikings, and British Explorers. Yay! Free history lesson! Tuesdays rule.

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What We Need More of is Negativity

Justin Klugh — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 17:39:39 +0000

Losing hurts. It hurts you, it hurts me, it hurts the snarky paper boy in the Giants cap the following morning when a potted plant from my porch shatters across his stupid face. There is a prolonged sting reverberating on the soul after a loss. But we all know that, because we live in Philadelphia, where we lose all the time, and it hurts every one of the times.

So excuse me for getting a little cliche-fired up when the next writer whose just trying to find a “fresh angle” chooses a midwinter day to write something about how the Phillies shouldn’t be good because we’re a town of underdogs. Some idiot did it last year, I forget his name, and I damn near derailed a trolley on Girard in outrage. Fortunately, it was winter, and it derailed itself a few blocks later anyway.

This is something of a Philadelphia winter tradition as well.

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Phils Spark Trade Rumors with Nonsensical Aaron Rowand Idea

Justin Klugh — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 18:06:17 +0000

So when you take Jayson Werth out off a roster–and nobody has yet–but when you do, there’s undoubtedly a black hole left in his spot. A twisted vacuum erupts, and a seemingly endless blast of suck tears a hole in the atmosphere. Lawn furniture’s flying around, cats zip by in mid air, howling for their lives; all because our right handed, five-tool power hitter is deleted from the lineup card.

In such chaos, it can be expected that any and all objects could possibly be yanked into the newly formed crevasse. A platoon is likely, but the components of such a strategy will have an entire winter to be studied and decided. All we have right now is a long list of names and a swarming blogosphere of theories. You never know whose name is going to spewed from the underworld as early in the guessing game as we be.

God I hate Jeff Francoeur so much.

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